A Second Chance

Written April 27, 2013

Lusaka, Zambia

40/40 Training

2 Timothy 4:1-2:  “I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom:  preach the word, be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke and exhort, with complete patience and teaching.”

What an incredible day!  Dear Lord, I praise You that You have taught me so much today.  It was my prayer as I practiced and brushed up on our assignment of telling Creation to Christ that I would truly follow Your Holy Spirit.  Lord, You know my struggle about evangelism.  I feel You’ve revealed to me that I am often too worried about the outcome (with questions that plague me such as “is someone truly saved or not?  Do they really mean it?”, etc.) and I think I use this as an excuse sometimes not to share my faith at all.  When I am only responsible for my part-following in obedience-when You prompt me by the Holy Spirit I must open my mouth and speak!  I must be prepared “in and out of season”, ready at all times to give an answer for the peace I have.  I know it can’t be a formula in which I always share the same way.  That’s why I almost detest tracts, the 4 Spiritual laws, the Roman Road, the ABC’s of salvation, etc. (although we can certainly use the verses in the correct context and I praise You that despite our human errors You still use us to reach others for Your kingdom).  

In following and studying the example of Jesus we never see him use a formula-He met people exactly where they were and started from there-like if it was physical healing they needed:  the blind, deaf, mute, lame, etc.  I think of the rich young ruler who had followed the law all his life yet when Jesus told him to follow him he couldn’t because he wouldn’t let go of his riches.  I think of Zacchaeus as a tax collector who was seeking God and when Jesus ate at his house and shared with him he became not just a believer but also a follower of Christ.  I think of the woman at the well, who Jesus began a conversation with just by asking questions.  He followed her responses and further questions and then shared the Word. 

It’s truly beautiful how God works!  How He meets us where we are-knowing our sins and struggles and answers the questions most dear to our hearts.  He reveals what sin or idol is truly holding us back.  Oftentimes, Jesus didn’t even go to people-instead they came to him.  Like Nicodemus as a ruler of the Pharisees who came at night.  Yet he didn’t understand and we don’t have evidence (in the book of John at least) that he ever became a follower of Jesus.  

Lord, continue to impress on my heart the need to simply obey You in my witnessing-to be sensitive to Your spirit-looking for ways to share Your Good News.  May I be in Your presence so often and so deeply that I cannot help but share how great You are, Your daily grace You’re giving me, and what You’re teaching me.  

I praise You for today! In praying and talking to my team we decided to set out to find Irene (a lady who sells produce at an outdoor market we’ve had conversations with this week) and Maalachi’s house.  It took a lot of walking but we got to both places!  My partner Brooke shared with Irene Creation to Christ and after some further questions we found she was already a believer.  So we encouraged her to share this story with her fellow co-workers, family and friends.  Then we made it to Maalachi’s house.  He was sitting up on the side of his bed about to have bread and tea, looking remarkably stronger than our visit just a few days ago.  His dear mother was overjoyed to see us and his wife (Diane) and daughter were there too!  I had prayed for this on our walk over!  

After the customary African greetings, I asked if I could share a story with them and I shared Creation to Christ.  Thank You Jesus for giving me passion and remembrance for the story.  The whole family listened attentively.  As I finished I asked some questions like-had they heard this story before?  (Yes.) Did they believe it? (Yes.) I found that Diane was a believer and she told me she had led her husband to Christ during his sickness (it was unclear about whether it was during the month he was in the hospital or within the last few days).  It seemed more like the latter because Diane said Maalachi had made the decision as he began to get better.  I was very encouraged because Diane said she had told Maalachi his life would have to change in becoming a Christian and that it would not be easy to live as a follower of Christ.  We talked more about the cost of being a disciple and the price we must all pay.  But we also talked about the peace and joy that can only come from Him. Then we prayed!  

God, thank You so much for our visit today.  Thank You for a second chance to share with this family.  Strengthen and give courage to this dear family.  I pray You will strengthen Maalachi in his faith as a young believer.  Raise him up to the be the spiritual leader for his family.  I feel for Diane as a wife and mother and can’t imagine her challenges as a Christian in a family with AIDs.  Who knows if she and her daughter may have it as well from her husband.  Lord, please give her Your perfect peace that surpasses all understanding and hold her in Your arms always-especially during the harder days.  Keep her reliant on Your Holy Spirit and continue to increase her faith in You.  Keep her plugged into a community of believers and a church who can encourage her and hold her and her family accountable.  I probably won’t ever meet her again in this life time but I pray You will sustain her and her family and raise up believers in generations to come who are true worshipers of You.  May we all worship before Your throne together in glory!

A Home of Hopelessness

The next couple of blogs are about our 40/40 training that we went through in the country of Zambia from April-May.  It consisted of 2 parts-the first half in the city of Lusaka where we stayed in seminary dorms and the second part in the rural city of Petauke where we camped out in tents.  It was a great time of learning about ourselves, increasing our faith in God, and learning about African culture.  We also had daily field assignments to complete to assist us in our learning.  We are so thankful for this experience.  The following blogs capture some of the highlights!

Written April 25, 2013

Lusaka, Zambia

40/40 Training

Today was pretty tough, heart-wrenching really.  We visited a man named Maalachi who was suffering from HIV. (Although his mom said it was TB caused by pneumonia, our Zambian helper, Edna, later told us once we left his house that it was the “elephant in the room” and so Africans usually don’t come out and say their disease is HIV.)  It was very sad to be there-I think I went into the visit a little overly confident.  I’ve been on many hospital and death bed visits back in America.  They were never easy of course, by I had a little experience under my belt.  However, this was SO different.  Shame on me for making too much of my American experiences and trying to make Africa fit into that box.  

As soon as we walked into the room I could feel the darkness and lack of hope.  Maalachi was lying in bed partly asleep and moaning in pain frequently. His brother was there but he wanted us to wait to begin our visit until his mother came in.  So we waited a few minutes-in awkward silence.  I began to pray for God’s wisdom and healing.  His mother arrived a few minutes later-she was so sweet and very excited that we were at their house.  Maalachi wanted to eat something so his mom got the brother to start cooking-some greens and rice.  Then he wanted to sit up but couldn’t do it on his own because he was too weak.  At first he wanted his mom to lift and carry him but she was only strong enough to aid him.  She helped him sit up on the side of the bed.  Before Maalachi sat up, he was covered in a blanket and while lying down we couldn’t see how bad of a condition he was in.  But once he began his struggle to sit up and the covers were pulled back, we could see how very sick and frail he was-his legs had wasted away to mere skin and bones.  His mom had mentioned during our inquiry of what was wrong that he had only just left the hospital after being there over a month.  (I was puzzled back during our visit to see how weak he was after that stay...it made sense later on once Edna had explained the “elephant in the room”.)  

I didn’t know what to do as his mom struggled to help him swing his legs over the bed and sit up-it was hard not to stare because he was moaning and grimacing with pain.  I had to bite my lip to fight back tears.  We learned he was married with a baby girl-but his wife was now at the clinic because the baby was sick with a cough.  I asked if we could pray for him, his family, and his mom and we did.  I could feel God’s power and presence in the room as He filled the place and gave us the words to intercede for them.  When we finished I felt like there was hope and more of a peaceful atmosphere in this small little home-at least it was clearly evident in the mom’s demeanor. 

We had brought a gift for the family, a cultural expectation/respectful gesture.  (Edna had recommended that the best thing for this family was to buy them some groceries-sugar, juice, toothpaste, laundry soap, etc.)  The mom was very appreciative.  As we left, saying our goodbyes and letting them know they would continue to be in our prayers-I felt somewhat like a failure.  I have no doubt we ministered to the mother-she clearly voiced how encouraged she was and gave her blessings on our ministry before we departed.  But I didn’t feel like we had reached the sick man, Maalachi-he seemed so out of it.  

God, You only know.  I pray we were faithful to minister to them in a way that pleased You and somehow touched Maalachi’s confused mind. In my head dear Jesus, I know You have the power to heal anyone, at anytime.  But I feel such a disconnect between my head and my heart in this area.  I don’t truly believe this if my actions don’t reveal it.  How do I know when You want to heal someone and when You are not (according to Your perfect plan)?  I confess I have fear because I’m afraid that if I take that step of faith to heal in Your name that it won’t happen...leaving the person involved doubting You or at the very least me embarrassed.   HOW DO I KNOW?  By working in the Holy Spirit I know is part if not all of the answer.  Is this my lack of faith and preparation and reliance on my own strength?  Show me dear Jesus!  Take away the blinders separating me from this kind of powerful, working, Holy Spirit faith.  Teach me oh Lord, I want to learn!

Forgive me for not being bold in sharing the Gospel-You know my mixed feelings about being fearful and not knowing what to say versus not wanting to use “conversion practices from America”.  I don’t want to put You in that kind of box.  Although I often limit myself I guess by creating another seemingly “nonconformist” box of my own and not wanting to use evangelistic tactics at all.  Thereby I limit You any way because I’m not seeking and continually following Your Holy Spirit.  

I pray for another opportunity to visit this man’s house again to share the Gospel.  Oh, I need Your wisdom!  Give me and my team clarity! 

Read my following blog “A Second Chance” to hear how God worked!

Bush Training at Lotem Comes to an End

Written March 24, 2013

Lotem, Uganda

Bush Training

This time next week we will be celebrating our bush training graduation in Kaabong!  Wow!  

Yesterday when Abby woke up from her nap she had one of her uncontrollable fits.  And then last night she woke up twice-once at 11:30 pm and then at 3:30 am with two more of the same.  She has not had these in weeks-but it happened the same day after we went to the village.  It’s so frustrating because Selvin and I don’t know what to do.  Most of the time she’s having it she doesn’t want to be held and is kicking and sometimes gasping for breath because she’s crying so hard.  After these most recent episodes, we prayed over her and it finally stopped.  But only after the first one lasted about 45 minutes and the last one about 30 minutes.  Lord, give us wisdom for what we need to do.  After the last one I put her in the bed with me.  It took a while for her to fall back asleep she was so wide awake.  We sang songs- “Jesus Loves Me”, “10,000 Reasons”, “Always”, “He’s Still Working on Me” and it really helped soothe her.

Lord, I praise You that by the last one Selvin and I were working together and not arguing about what to do or being rude to each other.  I pray we would be unified in our parenting of Abigail so we can honor You in the way we raise her.  Only You can help us triumph over this struggle Abby is facing currently-please show us the best way to help her during these ties and calm her-pointing her to You as her refuge and strength.  We’ve been trying to tell her during these times to call on You to help her.  I pray You would give us age appropriate words for us to teach her concerning You!

I pray Psalm 91:1-2 over her right now:  as she dwells in the shelter of You the Most High, she will abide in the shadow of You the Almighty.  Let her say to You oh Lord, You are my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.

I pray Isaiah 54:17 over Abby and us right now:  I thank You for Your amazing promise that no weapon fashioned against us will prosper and You will refute every tongue that rises against us in judgment.  I praise You my God that You have promised this as our heritage as servants of You oh Lord and You will vindicate us!  

I pray Psalm 4:8 over Abby: “In peace I will both lie down and sleep, for You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.”  I thank You that You just gave me a song to teach Abby before she goes to bed each night and even before her nap times as needed based on this verse!  Only You Jesus could give me the wisdom and idea for this.  I pray it makes Your Word come alive for her as she begins to hide Your Word in her heart so she can bring it to mind when she needs it.

I pray Psalm 91:9-13 over Abby: “Because You have made the Lord your dwelling place-the Most High, who is my refuge-no evil shall be allowed to befall you, no plague come near your tent.  For He will command His angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.  On their hands they will bear you up, lest you strike your foot against a stone.  You will tread on the lion and the adder; the young lion and the serpent you will trample underfoot.”

How appropriate for us while we’re out here at bush training!  Especially considering there are puff adder snakes-1 of which was killed less than a kilometer away just the other day.

I continue to pray Psalm 91:14-16 over us and Abby (that she might come to know You as her personal Savior):  “Because he holds fast to Me in love, I will deliver him, I will protect him, because he knows My name.  When he calls to Me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him.  With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.” 

I praise You for our special time tonight as a family before bed, with the light of our lantern, we read Psalm 91 together and we taught Abby the new song God gave me-”Jesus, Keep Me Safe in You”.  

“Jesus, Keep Me Safe In You” (To the tune to twinkle, twinkle, little star)

In peace I will lie down and sleep

Jesus help me rest in You

On Your throne in heaven so high 

But by my side as nights go by

In peace I will lie down and sleep 

Jesus keep me safe in You

Abby loved it and kept wanting us to sing it over and over again so she could “learn my song”.  Thank You Jesus!

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The people from our village who came to graduation!

We finished our bush training about a week later on March 30th.  We had a big graduation feast and celebration where our team invited the Karamajong people of peace that God had given us in the surrounding villages over the past couple of months.  We were able to share a meal with everyone- we roasted 2 goats and had sides of greens, posho and sweet potatoes.  Our man of peace, Labacoy, came along with a few others from his village and we were able to present the gift of a goat head and skin to him.  This is a huge honor in Karamajong culture here.  All of us were so excited to be able to return the hospitality the people had shown us as we’ve gotten to know them!  It is with bittersweet feelings that we ended this training.  Yes, it had been HARD.  The most difficult, most challenging thing Selvin and I had ever faced in our lives.  But the lessons  God taught us were definitely worth it.  All of the sacrifices made were nothing in comparison to the abundant life we have found on a daily basis up here.  We look ahead with excitement at what God will constantly teach us as He continues to develop a love for His lost people in Africa.

“We Died Before We Came Here”

Written March 7, 2013 at Lotem, Uganda during Bush Training

Selvin shared the story of Moses and the burning bush during our storying class today.  What a powerful story-it’s amazing how You always teach me new things about You even through Old Testament stories I’ve heard numerous times.  How easy it is to look at Moses and judge his lack of faith.  When I am so often in his same position.  And what’s ironic is that when I look back over my life, I find it’s often easier to take the big steps of faith-going on a mission trip, taking a new position in ministry, organizing a church event...but what’s really hard is to be obedient to God on an every day basis.  I can get puffed up with pride that I’ve obediently taken the big steps, I’m good.  I’ve arrived.  

But it’s not enough to just do big things for God.  Everything on heaven and earth belongs to Him-He is the keeper of cattle of a thousand hills.  My true worship=dying to myself daily.  I mean, we’ve moved to Africa-that’s a huge step and quite a gigantic life change.  But some days I find myself getting comfortable (or dreaming of the luxuries we’ll have once we leave the bush) and I realize it wouldn’t be that difficult to establish our own little America here in Africa.  Yet I look back over my life and the years leading up to this one and I realize I was only ever able to shift entire continents because of the seemingly small insignificant, ways on our journey to get here where I obeyed the Lord.  

J, our supervisor, shared a story about some Fiji Island missionaries who set out to share God’s Word many years ago.  As they approached land, the captain and crew begged the men not to get off the ship and be dropped off among the barbaric, carniverous warriors who lived there.  But in response to these warnings, the missionaries replied “we died before we came here”.  

It is definitely true that I died to myself before coming to Africa yet it doesn’t stop there.  As I grow in my faith, the Lord continues to stretch me and whisper “do you trust me?”  Hebrews 5:8 talks about Jesus learning obedience through suffering.  If Jesus had to face it, of course as his followers we shouldn’t be surprised that we must.  It is a continual, daily journey to take up our cross, deny ourselves, and follow our Savior.  It is with much trepidation at times that I look ahead at the future and the possibilities of what God will ask of me.  I wonder, will my faith be enough?  But as I remember all the countless times He has proven Himself overly and abundantly faithful, I take courage.  I will seek to rely on Him each day, even moment by moment to give me the grace and strength I need.  He is enough.

The Adventures of Africa

The Adventures of Africa

Written March 5, 2013 at Lotem, Uganda Bush Training

Rat hunts in the middle of the night.  Hearing foxes howling at night.  Fighting bush fires.    Teaching Karamajong and Dinka nationals how to play Candy Land.  Killing a rat with a big kitchen spoon.  Bringing a hawk down with a sling shot and enjoying fried hawk wings.  Cooking cake over a fire.  Enjoying a goat roast with all the Karamajong workers.  Africans stopping by to try and sell us a monkey to be our pet.  Fresh Cape Buffalo meat from a local friend.  Enjoying roasted peanuts and playing Skip Bo by lantern light with Africans.  Going antelope hunting down the mountain and into the valley.  And as of just a few minutes ago, Simon had to go kill a snake in the schoolhouse!  Who needs fire drills when you can have a snake drill?!  WHEW!!!

Oh the adventures we’ve had out here!  Our team at bush training has experienced so many exciting times.  They far outweigh our day-to-day struggles of just learning how to live in the bush-starting charcoal fires, the unevenness and unpredictability of cooking over an open fire, no electricity, or modern day western conveniences, washing laundry or taking bucket baths (where we never get completely clean).  

There are days here that I miss teaching.  There are even more days out here when my heart longs to return to youth and college ministry back in America.  How I miss that!  I truly do struggle these days.  I have doubts.  I knew my role there-it was very comfortable and I absolutely loved it.  Yet God has called me here and I am learning to be content.  I am learning what my new role to fulfill is here-although very slowly and stubbornly at times.  But I will trust in my God-that He who has called me here will be faithful to equip me.

God is at work in Labacoy!

Getting ready to set out for our trek to the village

Separating seeds from the watermelon

Cooking sorghum porridge

Labacoy's family

The shelter where we spent many hours sitting and visiting with the people

Children of the village

God is at work in Labacoy!

Written March 1, 2013 at Lotem, Uganda Bush Training

Today we were able to bring Simon Teko, one of our Karamajong nationals going through training with us and our main translator, with us to the village.  Selvin has had bad back pain but is not letting that hold him back from going!  It was so cool to be able to understand more of what was happening around us with a translator.  Very quickly after we arrived the women wanted me to go back to one of their kitchens (outdoor charcoal fire) to cook.  We made delicious Pumpkin Greens and boiled sorghum porridge.  These greens are my favorite!  As we were still eating this they brought out a gourd of boiled maize.  Abby had been enjoying the other food (complete with metal spoons which we don’t even have back at camp-amazing) but as soon as she saw the corn she exclaimed “Oh!” with a big smile on her face, dropped everything and got a big handful of the maize.  As she munched on it happily, the villagers were rolling in amusement.  

Labacoy’s brother Isaiah came back again today.  SImon translated that all the children, women, and men Labacoy had gathered under the shelter wanted to learn the Christian Karamajong songs and they wanted to pray.  He said that any time we came to his village, all of these people (20+ and mainly his family members) were “our people” and would listen and learn from us.  Labacoy is so good at gathering everyone together for “classes” as he called them today.  We learned through Simon that Labacoy is not a Christian.  But from everything we’ve seen so far he is hungry and wanting to learn!  Thank You Jesus!  Please continue to grant us favor and wisdom on our future visits.  May we always remember the importance of us relying on prayer and Your Spirit.  

Later during our visit, the women wanted me to go with them to get the porridge.  It was already made but I got to sit with some of the women inside their manyata and help sort spinach.  As we brought out the porridge, we were able to have Simon translate our thankfulness for Labacoy’s hospitality.  Simon shared the story of Joseph being thrown into the pit.  Most of the people seemed really interested.  We are praying the story was received well!  

When we left the women and a couple of men wanted to walk us back.  They were all eager to know when we would come back next.  We told them as soon as possible at the end of this week or next.  Thank You Jesus!

Spiritual Warfare Involves Everyone-Even Children

Spiritual Warfare Involves Everyone-Even Children

Written February 18, 2013 during our Lotem, Uganda Bush Training

Today before class, Selvin and I shared with our team a prayer request about Abigail’s behavior.  She has been having temper tantrums and fits once or twice a day-sometimes age appropriate ones and other times waking her up from her naps or in the middle of the night.  We all prayed and I felt very encouraged.  My friend brought up the possibility of it being a spiritual warfare thing.  This got me thinking.  Later during a break between classes, another team member asked me the same thing-especially since it started happening since we began visiting the village of Labacoy.  She said she had read about missionary kids going through similar things.  

Could this be the reason Lord?  It totally makes sense.  Some of the fits started after we began going to Labacoy-Day 2 itself as we were there.  With all of the favor You have shown us in the village with our man of peace and all the hospitality, there has to be opposition from Satan.  We are smack dab in the thick of the war-for the souls of the lost.  I know there has to be opposition and what better way than for Satan to target where Selvin and I are most vulnerable-with our precious Abigail.  He knows this is also our biggest struggle as of late-Selvin and I being on the same page about Abby and discipline during this huge time of transition and struggling to deal with new behaviors we’ve seen in her.  I think back to how I almost had a huge fight with Selvin at the village after Abby’s 2nd episode and remember how I could feel the battle raging inside of me because I just knew that I couldn’t or our testimony would be lost.  I think back to how joyful I felt and encouraged after yesterday’s visit to the market to get supplies for the team, only to be met with Abby’s 2nd day of a violent fit that came as she awoke from her nap.  She woke up in a rage, throwing herself on the cot, and scratching her legs.  It took almost an hour for Selvin to calm her down.  

Lord, I know nothing happens by accident.  Please show me and Selvin Your plan in this and how to best combat it in a way that honors You.  Help us to continually pray Your Word over Abigail-keep us ever on our guard.  I never really took into account how spiritual warfare on the mission field could affect children-especially one as young as Abigail.  I know we can only battle this with Your help.  I thank You for giving me Ephesians 1:20 today:

“...that He worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places, far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and above every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come.  And he put all things under his feet and gave him as head over all things to the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills all in all.”

Lord, help us to rely on Your strength with all of our might and seek Your wisdom about this!  We know we cannot handle this on our own.