The Spiritual Discipline of Study

For our next spiritual discipline we will be looking at the topic of study.  This is a VAST discipline and one that I will not seek to cover in just one post.  Instead, I will give a brief overview.  I encourage you to research this topic more on your own through one of the books I have referenced at the end of this post.  The purpose of the spiritual disciplines is the spiritual transformation of a person. They aim to replace the old destructive habits of thought with new life-giving habits. This is the purpose of the discipline of study.

In Romans 12:2, Paul tells us to be transformed by the renewing of our mind. The mind is renewed by applying it to those things that will transform it.

“Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” (Phil. 4:8)

Study is what brings us to think about these things; it is the key to transforming our minds. Many live in bondage to habits, fear, anxieties, and failures because they do not study God’s Word and apply it to their hearts and minds. (Foster) Jesus said “you will know the truth and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32). Good feelings and getting high on Jesus will not set us free; we can only be set free when we know the truth.

Study is setting the mind and heart on the things of God’s Word – His love, character, provision, etc. This is what Paul is talking about when he says to set your focus on things true, honorable, and the other pure characteristics of God.  

 Study is about learning and applying all of what life has to show us- we can learn not only from God’s Word (which is our beginning point) but we must study nature, relationships, science, etc. When we analyze things of this world within the context of God’s Word, we learn to live the way He created us.

Why we need to study: 

Two brothers were walking on their father’s extensive, wooded acreage whey they came upon a young tree heavy with fruit. Both enjoyed as much delicious fruit as they wanted. When they started back, one man gathered all the remaining fruit and took it home with him. His brother, however, took the tree itself and planted it on its own property. The tree flourished and regularly produced a bountiful crop so that the second brother often had fruit when the first had none. 

The Bible is like the fruit-bearing tree in this story. Merely hearing the word of God is to be like the first brother. You may gather much fruit from the encounter and even bring home enough to feed on for a few days (weekly church services, small group meetings, retreats or conferences), but in the long run it doesn't compare with having your own tree. Through the discipline of studying we also find tools of memorization, interpretation and application which bountifully increase our harvest of fruit from the tree.

*To be a true disciple of Christ: The Bible teaches us that we cannot be disciples of Jesus Christ if we do not have a regular intake of the Word of God. On one occasion Jesus said to his followers “If you continue in my word, then you are my disciples indeed; and you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free” (John 8:31-32). As we look back through the history of the Christian church, we find that the common denominator of every great man and woman of God is that they know the scripture and spent consistent, regular time with the Lord in the Word. 

*Paul gives us two reasons of why we should study God’s word in 2 Timothy 3:14-17:  The first purpose is that we might come to know Jesus Christ and receive his salvation (v 15). We learn about redemption through the Word. The second purpose of Scripture is to help us grow spiritually so that we might be equipped for whatever God wants us to do (v17). The means to that growth are teaching (doctrine), rebuking, correcting and training (v.16).   Teaching shows us the path on which we are to walk; rebuking shows us where we got off the path; correcting tell us how to get back to the path; and training in righteousness teaches us how to stay on that path. This means that the Bible is the comprehensive guidebook for living the Christian life. 

Three Examples of study in the Bible: 

1. Ezra in the Old Testament:  Ezra 7:10- “For Ezra had devoted himself to the study and observance of the Law of the LORD, and to teaching its decrees and laws in Israel.” There is an instructive significance to the sequence in this verse. Ezra (1) devoted himself (2) to the study (3) and observance of the Law of the Lord (4) to teaching of its decrees and laws in Israel. Before he taught the Word of God to the people of God, he practices what he learned. But Ezra's learning came from a study of Scriptures. Before he studied, however he first devoted himself to study. In other words, Ezra disciplined himself to study God's Word.  

2. The Berean Jews in the New Testament:  Acts 17:11. Missionaries Paul and Silas had barely escaped with their lives from Thessolonica after their successful evangelistic word had provoked the Jews there to jealousy. When they repeated the same course of action in Berea, the Jews there responded differently “11 Now the Berean Jews were of more noble character than those in Thessalonica, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true.” According to the next verse, the result was, “Many of the Jews believed.”  The willingness to examine the Scriptures is commended here as one possessing noble character. 

3. Paul in the New Testament:  The heart to study the truth of God is portrayed in 2 Timothy 4:13. The Apostle Paul is in prison and writing his last chapter of his last New Testament letter. Anticipating the coming of his younger friend Timothy, he writes “When you come, bring the cloak that I left with Carpus at Troas, and my scrolls, especially the parchments”. The scrolls and parchments Paul requested almost certainly included copies to the Scriptures. In his cold and miserable confinement in prison, the godly apostle asked for two things; a cloak to wear so that his body could be warmed and God's Word to study so his mind and heart could be warmed. Paul had see heaven (2 Corinthians 12:1-6), and the resurrected Christ (Acts 9:5) and even had the gift for writing Holy Scripture (2 Peter 3:16); nevertheless, he continued to study God's word until he died. If Paul needed it, surely you and I need it and should discipline ourselves to study it.

5 Key principles to follow on how to study the Bible: 

1. In Bible study you have to know how to ask the right kind of questions: 

You will realize that you can bombard the text with a limitless number of questions. One benefit of studying the Bible is that you will begin developing a more inquisitive mind. You will discover exciting insights you’ve overlooked in the past. It will seem as if you have been given a new pair of eyes! Suddenly, every time you pick up the Bible to study, new truths will leap out of the text. There are many models you can use to implement this principle, such as SPECKA, the 5 W’s, etc.  

2. In Bible study it involves you writing down what you have observed and discovered:

You have not really thought through a biblical text until you have put the thoughts gained from it into writing. You can do that with a pen and notebook, or you can just open up your laptop and start typing. You cannot study without writing something down. That is the difference between Bible reading and Bible study. In reading the Bible you simply read through a selected portion of Scripture, whereas in studying the Bible you take extensive notes.

3. In Bible Study you have to take God’s Word and study systematically. 

A haphazard study of the Word of God is an insult to the sanctity of Scripture. It is a slap on the holiness of God, who gave us his Word. The “cafeteria style” or the “what-are-we-going-to-find-today” approach will not produce the results God wants us to live out. What we need is a systematic, regular plan of study, whether we go through a book study, a word study or a chapter study we need to do it in a systematic way. We also must NEVER take a passage out of context.  When it comes to interpretation of the Bible, context is crucial.  In fact, I would go as far as to say the most important principle of biblical interpretation is that the context determines meaning.  When we ignore the context, we can twist the Scriptures and “prove” almost anything we want.  Unfortunately what happens is that true Christianity is not lived out but instead we get things like the prosperity Gospel that are heresy to God.  In considering the context of a passage you must look at it’s historical and literary context.  You can do this by having a handy, reliable tool nearby-a Bible dictionary such as Strong’s or commentaries.

4. In Bible study you will never exhaust the riches in any one passage of Scripture: 

The psalmist declared this fact in Ps.119:96. You can dig and dig in Scripture, but you will never, ever touch bottom. Solomon said it in Prov. 2:4-5- God’s silver is inexhaustible and the treasure is boundless. For this reason you can study the same passage over and over again, dig into it, leave it for three or four months- and when you come back to it, there is much more to find. 

5.  You MUST apply what you have learned in your Christian walk:  Application is crucial to study.  We do not want to settle for understanding alone; we want to apply the biblical principles to our daily living. The Bible was to given to change our character and bring it more into conformity with Jesus Christ. All of our efforts in Bible Study are valueless if in the end we do not change and become more like Jesus. (Foster) We must “not merely listen to the word” but we are to “do what is says” (James 1:22).  When we apply God’s world in our lives, we will also become eager to carry out the great commission (Mat. 28:18-20) Some of the questions you have to be asking ourself in your Bible Study are: What attitude do I need to change as a result of this study? What do I need to start doing or stop doing? What thing do I need to believe or stop believing? What relationships do I need to work on? What ministry should I be having with others?

There are 4 steps to study

1. Repetition-  This step regularly channels the mind in a specific direction, thus ingraining habits of thought. Repetition can cause us to go in the way of destructive habits or constructive habits.  Study something for 30 days or a year and apply it to your life, it will change your life. It will become a habit. Care for your body, quiet time early, etc.
2. Concentration-  This step centers the mind and focuses the attention on what is being studied. To gain concentration there are some things you’ll find helpful. Find a quiet place, give time to it, and be rested up. Remember it is a discipline; but when we do it learning is vastly increased. Don’t let yourself be distracted by paying attention to other things while you’re studying-put away your phone, log out of Facebook, ask someone to watch your kids.  Concentrate only on our Lord.
3. Comprehension- Jesus reminds us it is not just the truth but the knowledge and understanding of the truth that sets us free. (Jn.8:32) All of us have read or studied something over and over again and then, all of a sudden, we understand what it means. It opens up to us a whole new view. When this happens, our experience of understanding moves us to a new level of growth and freedom. It leads to insight and discernment; it gives us a true perception of reality.
4. Reflection- Although comprehension defines what we are studying, reflection defines the significance of what we are studying. Reflection brings us to see things from God’s perspective. It helps us to understand our world and ourselves better. We need time to reflect on what we have learned and how it applies to life.

Preparation for Bible Study: 

1. Schedule your Bible study time: Set aside a specific time to do Bible study each week. Decide how much time you want to spend on Bible study. Don’t overdo it, but don’t shortchange yourself either. If you don’t put study into your weekly schedule, you will never make time for it or it will be sporadic and shallow. You must intentionally make time for Bible study. 

2. How often should you study the Bible? 

The answer will vary from person to person, but an important fact to keep in mind is the distinction between your quiet time and your Bible study time. You should have a quiet time every day. It is usually a short devotional period (10-30 minutes) it which you read the Bible, meditate for a few minutes on what you read, and have a time of prayer. 

The purpose of your quiet time is to have fellowship with Jesus Christ. You should not try to do an in-depth Bible Study during your quiet time. In fact, nothing will kill your quiet time like engaging in serious Bible study during a devotional period. Just enjoy the presence of God and fellowship with him. 

While it is better to have a 10 minute quiet time every day rather than just a one-hour period once a week, the exact opposite is true of Bible study. You cannot study the Bible effectively in a piecemeal fashion. If is better to block out larger periods of time (One or an hour and a half) than to try to study a little bit every day. Then as you grow in your Bible Study skills, you can spend additional time with it. 

You should study your Bible when you are at your best physically, emotionally and intellectually, and when you can be undistracted and unhurried. Since you are either a “day person” or a “night person” you should pick the time when you are most alert. I know I cannot function at night very well, but mornings are fine for me, when I get up I am ready to go. You should never try to study when you are tired or right after a large meal, you will only get frustrated and sleepy. Try to study when you are rested and wide awake. Remember we are not talking about just your quiet time or your devotional time every day, we are specifically talking about Bible study, because it is going to take work to do it.  

3. Keep a notebook:  As we had already talked about, you cannot study the Bible without writing down things that you have observed. I love journaling and find it really helps me to process what I am learning-takes notes as I go and even writing down my questions and prayers to God along the way.

4. Spend time in prayer before each study: First, ask the Lord to cleanse your life from all known sin and to fill you with the Holy Spirit, so that you will be in fellowship with him during the study. This is the advantage of studying the Bible as compared to studying a textbook- you have direct communication with the author himself. Second, pray that the Holy Spirit will guide you in your study. The best way to understand is to talk with its author. Memorize Psalms 119:18 and use it before each study – ” Ask God to open your eyes to His word.”

5. Get the right tools: A good solid version of the Bible. The NIV study bible or the ESV study bibles are good resources to have. A good solid commentary like any of the “MacArthur Commentaries’” are excellent. If you are going to be doing a book study you can get a good commentary on just one book. You can start out with a good study bible and go from there.

A few tools to begin Study 

I want to list a few of the Bible Study tools my husband and I use.  But I do want to emphasis you do NOT have to have all of these to have a good Bible study.   But these are definitely helpful in your study.   Always remember that you should read the text first and allow the Holy Spirit to speak to you before you consult other materials!  You do not want to miss out on how God first wants to speak to you about His Word on a deeply personal level.

1. A good Study Bible: Again this is most important thing that you will need. Find a good study Bible. When looking for one, make sure you get one that is large enough so that you are not straining your eyes while you read and more importantly find one with a good cross-reference and/or concordance.  Personally, I would recommend the NIV Study Bible or the ESV Study Bible. For further reading I would also recommend the Apologetics Study Bible- the articles and the notes in that Bible are excellent.

2. An Exhaustive concordance: By far the most important tool you will need in Bible study other than your study Bible is a concordance that is geared to your primary Bible version. This tool has a Bible index of the words contained in that version. A number of bibles have a limited concordance in the back, which lists only a few of the major words and names. An “exhaustive” concordance lists every usage of every word in the bible and gives all the references where the word may be found.   I would recommend the Strongest Strong’s NIV Exhaustive Concordance. 

3. A Bible dictionary and/or Bible encyclopedia: A Bible dictionary explains many of the words, topics, customs, and traditions in the Bible as well as giving historical, geographical, cultural and archeological information. Background materials are also given for each book of the Bible and a short biography is presented for the major people of both Testaments. I would recommend the Expository Dictionary of Bible Words by Renn.

4. A Bible handbook: This tool is a combination of an encyclopedia and a commentary in a concise form. It is used for quick reference while reading through a particular book in the Bible. Instead of being arranged by topics alphabetically, handbooks are designed to follow the order of the books of the Bible-specifically used for background notes and running commentaries. 

I would recommend the Halley’s Bible handbook or The Word Bible Handbook by Richards.

5. Commentaries: A commentary is a scholarly collection of explanatory notes and interpretations on the text of a particular book or section. Its purpose is to explain and interpret the meaning of the biblical message by analyzing the words used, background, introduction, grammar, and syntax, and relation of the particular book to the rest of the Bible. Used properly, commentaries can greatly increase your understanding of the Bible. Generally you should not refer to the commentary until after you have done your own study. Don’t let someone else rob you of the joy or discovering biblical insights on your own. I would recommend the Matthew Henry Commentary or the John MacArthur Commentary.  

Other Helpful Study Tools:  

-How to read the bible for all its Worth by Gordon Fee 

-The Cost of Discipleship by Dietrich Bonhoeffer or the more contemporary version of Costly Grace by Jon Walker

-Mere Christanity by C.S. Lewis

In closing, we must remember that application is crucial to study.  We must come to study in a humble and teachable spirit. We do not gain knowledge and information so we can be seen as all knowing. Parading around our knowledge in front of others just makes us arrogant. The wisdom of God is found in study of His Word and the world around us. (Foster) We should be humbled that He would share this with us. Our goal in all Bible studies is to know Jesus Christ and to become like him in our attitudes, our thoughts, our speech, our actions and our values. When the word of God changes our lives and makes us more like Jesus, that's when we realize what the real purpose of life is, what true joy is, and what it means for God to change the world though us. The Great commission is fulfilled and souls are won when we become Christlike and do His will. 

By Laurel Jeremiadoss

***If you are interested in studying the spiritual disciplines further, most of our teaching comes from Richard Foster’s Celebration of Discipline, Spiritual Disciplines by Donald Whitney and E.M. Bounds’ Weapons of Prayer.

Mary Did Know

“Mary Did You Know?” has always been a favorite Christmas song of mine.  It is beautifully poetic as it expresses any mother’s fears about her newborn baby and her desire for him as a mother (tears always spring to my eyes at the words “This child that you’ve delivered, will soon deliver you”). The bridge never fails to bring tears of joy its hopeful refrain of the Gospel message of Jesus as our Savior and Redeemer resonating in a delightful crescendo.  This Christmas season I have found myself really drawn to Mary’s acceptance of God’s will for her life and my desire to mirror her words found in Luke 1:46 when she says “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.”  And then as the Lord’s story for her life unfolds, her peaceful meditation as it says several times throughout the life of Jesus that Mary “pondered these things in her heart”.

In Luke 2 we read about the birth of Christ-beginning with Mary and Joseph’s journey to Bethlehem to be registered for the census-the hard journey being near the end of Mary’s pregnancy-on those long, dusty, hot roads: riding on the back of a donkey or walking when she got tired of riding and needed to stretch her legs.  Then vs. 6: “And while they were there, the time came for her to give birth.”  Whoa!  Did Mary know she might give birth so soon?  Moms usually have a pretty good instinct of knowing when they’re getting close to deliver.  Did she know about the prophecy of Jesus being born in Bethlehem?  Was she nervous being without the familiarity and security of her family?  Instead her midwife was her betrothed?  They were only engaged yet he delivered her baby.  Talk about unconventional!  Vs. 7:  “And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths (she had nothing else?) and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn” .  If Mary knew about the prophecy was she upset because God had not provided a place for them in an inn, for the Son of God no less?!

Did she realize the weight of the words the angels declared to the shepherds keeping watch in their fields by night, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.  For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.” It doesn’t say how soon those shepherds came to visit them, but imagine!  A mother who delivered her baby in a manger, wrapped him in some rags and laid him down to sleep in an animal’s feeding trough, then visited by a bunch of shepherds with their smelly sheep-strangers.  Yet vs. 19 says “Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart”.  Did she recall the words of Gabriel when he first visited her with earth shattering news of the baby to come with the promise “For nothing is impossible with God” (Luke 1:37).  Although we don’t know for sure, I imagine Mary did know.

After all, her response to God’s plan for her life was “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word. (Luke 1:38).  She knew that she was a servant to God and that if she loved him she had to trust and obey him.  Mary did know that if she was carrying the Savior of the world than surely God would work out all the details-she saw his faithfulness to provide a friend to share her secret with in Elizabeth, spending 3 months with her. Mary did know mercy when God gave her safety on the long, exhausting journey.  And she knew God’s provision when He provided a place for her to deliver her baby and then to lie his head down and sleep.  The shepherds may have been strangers (and smelly) but they were all united in worship and awe as sweet baby Jesus, God in the form of a baby, Savior of the world, lay sweetly sleeping.  Later when the 3 kings visited her, she may not have know how exactly but she knew God was keeping His promise as Jesus grew.  

This Christmas season, amidst the hustle and bustle of traditions and celebrations, let us not forget to be aware of what God wants to do in each of our lives.  Let us take the time to praise God for His faithfulness in our lives-“magnify the Lord, let your spirit rejoice in God your Savior for he has looked on the humble estate of his servant” (Mary’s song of praise in Luke 1:46-55).  He has saved you by His grace!  In what ways can your soul truly magnify Him this season?  How can you make much of our God?  

“He who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is his name.”  What great things has God done for you?  Tell him!  Sing praises to Him.  Tell others the things God has done for you.

Thank God for his mercy that he shows “for those who fear him from generation to generation”.  Ask Him how you can show mercy to others.

“He has shown strength with his arm”-He is mighty to save.  

“He has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts.”  Beg the Lord to take away our pride and give you faith like a child to receive all He wants for you-to increase your faith in Him.

“He has brought down the mighty from their thrones and exalted those of humble estate.  He has filled the hungry with good things, and the rich he has sent away empty”.  As our world is ripped apart by war, disease, hate, famine…remember that God hears the cry of his children and He will give them justice.  Pray for those around the world who are living in this present reality.  Pray that God would give them hope and peace in their hearts to rest in Him and in His timing.  Beg the Lord to show you how you can help be a part of the solution.

“He has helped his servant Israel, in remembrance of his mercy, as he spoke to our fathers, to Abraham and to his offspring forever.”  Hundreds of years later-the Lord had kept his promise in sending a seed to strike the head of Satan.  Jesus Christ, our Savior, who would one day become a man who would take the sins of the world on his shoulders, die in our place, rise again and sit at the right hand of God.  Jesus Christ, who is alive and well today is at work here on earth-“The blind will see, the deaf will hear, the dead will live again.  The lame will leap, the dumb will speak, the praises of the lamb!” Rest assured He is coming again-our King!  May we share this message with boldness this Christmas season to a world who is broken, bleeding, and dying.  Jesus is the answer and as Mary did know the faithfulness of God-treasuring and pondering His power in her heart-so must we.

Meditation…Fix Your Thoughts on Jesus

“True contemplation is not a psychological trick but a theological grace.” -Thomas Merton

“In our culture and in our society, Satan majors in 3 things-noise, hurry and crowds.”  Psychiatrist Carl Jung once said, “Hurry is not of the Devil; it is the Devil.” (Foster)  If he can keep us distracted and engaged in “muchness” and “manyness” then he knows we will be very ineffective in building the kingdom of God.  The Bible uses 2 different Hebrew words to convey the idea of meditation.  It has various meanings-listening to God’s Word, reflecting on God’s works, rehearsing God’s deeds, obeying God’s laws and more.  David says, “Oh, how I love thy law!  It is my meditation all the day..I hold my feet from every evil way, in order to keep thy word.  I do not turn aside from thy ordinances, for thou hast taught me.” (Psalm 119:97, 101, 102) Every time it is mentioned in the Bible there is an emphasis on changed behavior upon our part,as a result of our encounter with the LIVING God.  Repentance and obedience are essential characteristics in a biblical understanding of meditation.  

We read about Isaac going out into a field in the evening to meditate in Genesis 24:63.  David says “On my bed I remember you; I meditate on you through the watches of the night” (Psalm 63:6).  Eli, the old priest (1 Samuel 3:1-18) knew how to listen to God and helped Samuel as a young boy to recognize the voice of the Lord.  Elijah spent much time in the wilderness learning how to discern the “still small voice of the Lord” (1 Kings 19:9-18.)  In each of these incidences it is obvious that each person had an intimate relationship with God-they were close to his very heart.  God spoke to them NOT because they had special abilities, but because they were willing to listen.

We also see the example in Jesus, countless times during his few years of ministry on earth he habitually withdrew to “a lonely place apart” (Matt. 14:13).  He had to distance himself from the crowds so he could be alone with God-to talk to him, to listen to Him.  And as Christ followers we too are called to do the same-to get away from anything that hinders us and to get alone with God.

“Christian meditation, very simply, is the ability to hear God’s voice and obey His word.” That’s it-it’s not a formula, it’s a way of life.  Just as we would talk with a friend, so we can talk to God-pouring our heart out before Him (for He knows all our deepest secrets and fears anyways-“Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight.  Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.” Hebrews 4:13).  But we have the freedom to bare our soul before God without fear of condemnation (Romans 8:1).  We are promised in His Word that “perfect love casts out all fear” (1 John 4:18).  

Foster cautions us, “Let us not become like the Israelites, who were not prepared for such intimacy with God.  Once they learned a little about God, they realized that being in his presence was risky business and told Moses so: “You speak to us, and we will hear; but let not God speak to us, lest we die.” (Exod. 20:19).  Foster goes on to say, “In this way they could maintain religious respectability without the attendant risks.  This was the beginning of the great line of the prophets and the judges, Moses being the first.  But it was a step away from the sense of immediacy, the sense of the cloud by day and the pillar of fire by night.”  I don’t know about you but I want to speak directly to God, I want a deep and personal communion with him without any barriers.

“The truth of the matter is that the great God of the universe, the Creator of all things, desires our fellowship.  In the garden of Eden, Adam and Eve talked with God and He talked with them-they were in perfect communion.  Then came the fall and there was a rupture of this perfect communion, for Adam and Eve hid from God in their shame.  But God continued to reach out to His rebellious children and in stories of other Biblical characters (just like you and me today)-Cain and Abel, Noah, and Abraham we see God continually speaking and acting, teaching and guiding.” (Foster)  

Then in the New Testament we see Jesus walking and talking with his disciples-constantly teaching them as he does life together with mere men.  Even after his death we read in Luke that Jesus continues “to do and teach” even if people cannot see him with the naked eye.  In Acts we see the resurrected and reigning Christ, through the Holy Spirit teaching and guiding his followers-leading Phillip to new unreached peoples (Acts 8), revealing the Messiah to Paul (Acts 9), guiding the church out of its cultural captivity (Acts 15).  And there are many more accounts throughout the entire Bible where people (those who are actually listening) communicate with God on a regular basis.  

Do not make the mistake of thinking that these are only stories long ago and that God only speaks through the Bible- Jesus is resurrected and at work in our world.  “He is not idle, nor has he developed laryngitis and cannot speak.  He is alive and among us as our Priest to forgive us, our Prophet to teach us, our King to rule us and as our Shepherd to guide us.” (Foster)

Misconceptions about Meditation:

Meditation is misunderstood by a lot of Christians today because of their perception of meditation in regards to Eastern religions.  In reality, the 2 ideas stand in complete contrast with each other.  The idea of the practice of Yoga or the religion of Buddhism and the familiar pose of sitting Indian style, arms up and eyes closed has nothing to do with Christian meditation. 

Whereas eastern meditation is an attempt to EMPTY the mind and to think about nothing, Christian meditation is an attempt to FILL the mind-with Christ and what Christ is teaching us and to how to follow His ways and not our own.  Eastern meditation is all about detachment from the body to find Nirvana (peace) versus Christian meditation is all about the attachment to God and how to hear from him and be in communion with him-to find COMPLETE peace IN him.  This leads to the inner wholeness necessary to give ourselves to God freely.

So as you can see, these 2 concepts of meditation are complete opposites.  One confines us to a totally human experience while the other catapults us to a divine-human encounter.  While one talks about exploring the subconscious, the other speaks of “resting in Him who we have found, who loves us, and who is near to us, who comes to draw us to Himself”.  Both may sound “religious”, but the former fails to find a place for spiritual reality.  Another misconception about meditation is that it is too difficult, too complicated and should be left to the professionals.  But the idea and concept of meditation is for any one, it is Biblical and easy and all it takes is a desire and a willingness to do it.  Once it becomes a habit it is as natural and important as breathing.

Preparing to Meditate:

Just as we can only learn how to pray by doing it, so is true with meditation.  We learn to meditate by mediating.  I want to start out with a few suggestions.

-Set aside a particular time in your day to do it.  The Bible doesn’t tell us to do it at certain times-in the above examples you saw how some did it at night, others early in the morning, others throughout their day.  We can do it at any time and in any circumstances if we are intentional.  You know what works best for you-I am usually best able to meditate early in the morning during my time with the Lord before the girls are awake, my husband often does it during their naps, and we both strive to do it at different points throughout our day.  The church fathers spoke of Otium Sanctum “holy leisure”-a time set aside to not just hurry or run through life, but to pause and reflect on God and His grace and love.

-Find a particular place to meditate.  Find a place that is quiet and free from interruptions-no technology of any kind-phones, internet, etc.  We live in a society where we are constantly plugged in-constant communication almost endlessly at our fingertips, we must unplug with technology to truly be in tune to the Lord.  I have found it easy to meditate while going for a walk or even doing the dishes as I look out the kitchen window.  It is good to have a habitual place where you can spend the most time meditating but it is also helpful to be creative in meditating throughout your day-making it a part of things you do regularly-house work, long car rides while stuck in traffic, during your exercise, etc.  After all, Thomas Merton writes, “Meditation has no point and no reality unless it is firmly rooted in life.”

-Find a posture to meditate.  One that you are most comfortable with and least distracted-it may be with your head bowed and eyes closed, it may mean that you kneel.  Regardless of how it is done-the goal is to center the attention of your body, emotions, the mind and the spirit upon the “glory of God and on the face of Christ” (2 Corin. 4:6)  Foster says “What happens in meditation is that we create the emotional and spiritual space which allows Christ to construct an inner sanctuary in the heart.”

Forms of Meditation:

-Scripture:  Keeping our focus on God’s WORD is the most important part of meditation-our lens in which to keep everything in proper perspective.  When we meditate on the Bible, the words come alive and become real to you (“For the word of God is living and active.  Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.”  Hebrews 4:12).  “It is a time to set aside all our tendencies to be arrogant and instead to have a humble heart to receive whatever it is that God wants to tell you.  Just as you do not analyze the words of someone you love but accept them as they are said to you, you must ACCEPT the word of Scripture and ponder them in your heart, as Mary did.  That is all.  That is meditation.  It is important to resist the temptation to pass over many passages superficially-our rushing reflects our internal state and this is what needs to be TRANSFORMED.” (Foster)  We cannot truly meditate on God’s living word and walk away unchanged! Camp out on Scripture-spend a week or two on a chapter in Psalms, read one of the Gospels over and over again, learn a parable or a few verses and truly let them sink in and take root in your heart-this is where we see heart change that is lasting because God promises us that His word never returns void.  

-Palms down, palms up:  “Wait a minute,” you may be thinking, “I thought this wasn’t yoga.” It’s not.  But the reality is that we are visual beings and physical cues can help us connect things from our head to our heart.   This is why you may find this practice helpful.  In the middle ages the Quakers called it “Recollection” or sometimes “palms down, palms up”.  Begin by placing your palms down as a symbolic indication of your desire to turn over any concerns you have to God. Inwardly you pray for the Lord to take away your worries, desire for control over your life…then you turn your palms up as a symbol of your desire to receive from God.  You could pray silently and allow the Lord to commune with you-to love you.  Spend time in complete silence so you can listen and not ask anything but let God to speak to you about situations and circumstances.

-Contemplative Prayer:  This is prayer where you specifically meditate on God’s creation-where the great Creator of the universe shows us something of His glory through his creation.  Psalms 19:1 says “The heavens declare the glory of God, the skies proclaim the work of His hands.”  Spend time specifically thanking God for different parts of His creation and meditate on the AWESOME work of His hands, how He has authority over all.

Don’t be discouraged if in the beginning your meditation has little meaning to you. “This spiritual discipline is another piece of our journey in our walk with God- a progression.  It is wise to have some experience with lesser peaks before trying to tackle the Mt. Everest of the soul. “ (Foster) So be patient with yourself.   Just remember that meditation is not a single act, nor can it be completed in a short period of time, or checked off as a completed task.  It is a way of life. You will be constantly learning and growing as you discover and dive deeper in your walk with the King.  “Therefore, holy brothers (and sisters), who share in the heavenly calling, fix your thoughts on Jesus, the apostle and high priest whom we confess.” (Hebrews 3:1)  The familiar words of the timeless hymn “Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus” drift up to my memory-Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in his wonderful face and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of his glory and grace.”  Let this song be our prayer, that as we focus our attention fully on Jesus, all others things will fade away from view and we will grow deeper in our trust and love for our Savior.

By Laurel Jeremiadoss

***If you are interested in studying the spiritual disciplines further, most of our teaching comes from Richard Foster’s Celebration of Discipline, Spiritual Disciplines by Donald Whitney and E.M. Bounds’ Weapons of Prayer.

Prayer: Enough with the Excuses….Just Do It!

“Not to pray is to deny God-to deny His existence, His Nature, and His purposes toward mankind.”  E.M. Bounds

The Lord is really working in mine and my husband’s lives right now- through us learning spiritual disciplines.  Selvin is teaching spiritual disciplines to the trainees going through bush camp and as a couple we are focusing on them with practical application each week.  It is a 12 week study so I wanted to share what we are learning with you so you can also be challenged to grow along with us!  The first spiritual discipline we’re focusing on is prayer. Prayer is what pushes us to the frontier of the spiritual life.  Of all the spiritual disciplines prayer is the most central because it takes us into a deep personal communion with our Father.

Oftentimes I feel like we overcomplicate prayer.  I know I do-I see it almost as an insurmountable task that I just can’t seem to get past a few minutes in.  I read stories about people who are prayer warriors, who have camel knees from hours spent on their knees before the Lord and down in the depths of my heart I yearn to pray like them.  I realize that to become a prayer warrior such as them it will require discipline and much change on my part.  William Carey, a renown missionary said “Real prayer is life creating and life changing.  Prayer-secret, fervent believing prayer lies at the root of all personal godliness.” 

Yet, prayer is not complicated.  Effective prayer happens when you TALK to God and LISTEN to what He is saying to you.  You cannot have one of these without the other-you must have both of these parts.  Often we talk to God but we don’t take time to be still before Him and to wait on Him to speak.  (We’ll talk more about this in our next spiritual discipline meditation.) Richard Foster in his book Celebration of Discipline, says “To pray is to change.  Prayer is the central avenue God uses to transform us.  If we are unwilling to change, we will abandon prayer as a noticeable characteristic of our life.  The closer we come to the heartbeat of God the more we see the need and the more we desire to conform to Christ.”

I have been saying for a long time that I want to go deeper in my prayer life-yet I haven’t made a diligent effort to. Because the truth is, if I really want to do something I’ll make the necessary changes in my life to form a new healthy habit.  The Lord has deeply convicted me to just get down to the basics of prayer, enough with my excuses and to just do it.  And as I just do it-little by little I hope that John MacArthur’s words come true in my life-“Prayer is like breathing for Christians.  When you don’t pray, you’re holding your breath spiritually-fighting against the very existence and presence of God in your life.”  

There are 3 basic characteristics of prayer.

1) Prayer is expected.  Prayer was the lifestyle of Jesus.  There are so many times in Scripture where it says Jesus went to a quiet place to pray (Mark 1:35, Luke 5:16). In Matthew 6:5-9, Jesus is explicit about us praying-it doesn’t say IF you pray, it says WHEN you pray! It’s an expectation-to pray is the most profound and personal communication with Him.  Prayer is a duty and to neglect prayer is therefore a sin.  Because we are commanded to pray, it is an act of disobedience if we do not pray.

2) Prayer is learned. (Luke 11:1)  The disciples asked Jesus how to pray.  They took notice of the many times Jesus would go by himself and pray and they saw his prayers answered and they wanted to learn!  If you are discouraged about your prayer life and how effective your prayers are, this should give you hope to know that prayer is something you learn to do.  No matter how weak or strong your prayer life currently may be, it can only grow stronger as you learn how to pray more effectively.  To understand that the work of prayer involves a learning process saves us from arrogantly dismissing it as false or unreal.  Praying is like learning a foreign language.  If you’ve ever learned a foreign language you know that you learned it when you actually spoke it.  The same is true with prayer. You can gain great knowledge of prayer but you will never truly learn to pray unless you actually practice it.  The great thing about this journey is that the Holy Spirit living inside of us helps us to pray better.

3) Prayer is persistent. (Luke 18: 1-8)  Jesus tells a parable of the persistent widow who comes before an unrighteous judge continually until he is worn down and grants her justice to get her to stop bothering him.  He uses this story to teach his disciples how they must persist in prayer.  He ends it by saying “And will God not give justice to his children, who cry out to him day and night?  Will he delay long over them? I tell you, he will give justice to them quickly.”

Sometimes a failure to persist in prayer proves that we are not serious about our request in the first place.  At other times God wants us to persist in prayer in order to strengthen our faith in Him.  Faith would never grow if all our prayers were answered immediately.  Persistent prayer tends to develop deeper gratitude as well.  As the joy of a baby’s birth is great because of months of anticipation, so is the joy of an answer in prayer after persistent praying.  Don’t allow Satan to discourage you when you don’t get an immediate prayer request answered-instead let your love for God cause you to prevail in prayer to Him who loves you-cry out to him day and night.  He will answer in His time.

How to Pray: 

These are some components of prayer.  I’ve listed with each one practical ways to implement them.  Please use this to help guide you in your prayer life, but of course don’t be confined to it. It is not a formula as there are many ways to pray.  As you continue to use these components in your daily prayer life, it will become more natural and the Holy Spirit will give you the freedom in this.

1. Confession: confess your sins to God, ask him to search your heart and convict you by His Holy Spirit of how you sinned, confess your helplessness before God-even to get down to your very motives of why you sinned against him that day, be quiet before him so you have a chance to listen. 
2. Praise: praise God for all of his wonderful attributes and characteristics, you could choose 1 or 2 specific ones (ex. faithfulness, healer) and praise Him for specific ways He has been this to you in your life as of late, sing songs to God (listen to praise and worship music, play an instrument, read Scriptures like Psalms and pause and meditate on the words).  Go through the ABC’s and see how many names you can praise God with!
3. Thanksgiving: thank God for the specific ways He has done great things for you-think of even the seemingly small ways we often take for granted-food to eat, healing from sicknesses, safety.  These are all gifts-we don’t deserve them but He chooses to give them to us in His timing.  Thank God also for the hard eucharisto-the ugly-beautiful things in your life that he is using to refine you into gold for Him, to make you more like Jesus.  The injustices you see in your world and he has given you a passion to fight for-close family values, the orphans, the widows, the lost….Or the things that happen to you that are so difficult and hard-losing a loved one, troubles in your marriage, prodigal children, persecution at work….all of these hard things are opportunities for us to run to our loving Father who is THE answer to all of our difficulties, who allows trials and tribulations to come our way as a part of his perfect story.  He already knows the end of HIs Story-HISTORY, we can only see a few pages or at most  a couple of chapters of how our lives are intertwined in His great timeline.  Even when we don’t understand this side of heaven-give thanks!  Open your hands to receive the good, the bad, the ugly and trust in His love.  Keep a journal-counting thankfulness, set an alarm on your watch so every hour or at certain points in the day you take a minute and express your praise, write it on post-its and put it around your house as a visual reminder.  Thank Him with a heart full of gratitude.  The more you intentionally thank Him, He truly will increase your joy in Him.
4. Petition:  Bring your requests before our loving Father.  Pour out your heart like water to him-tell him about all of your worries, your concerns, your burdens.  Ask for His help in each one.  Pray for your needs, the needs of those closest to you-your spouse, brothers or sisters, parents, grandparents, friends.  Use resources to help guide you in petitioning for these people-prayer calendars, praying scriptures.…(http://www.operationworld.org/free-prayer-enhancing-resources)  The beautiful thing about prayer that I’m learning is that the way I pray seems to change according to the different seasons of life I’m in-there is not just one way to do it.  There is no formula.  It is a beautiful, unique communication we share with our Lord that is deep and personal….the way you do it during one season of your life may look different the next.  I know I just want to be growing in the Lord, embracing the changing seasons and praying that I go deeper each time.
5. Intercession:  Jesus stands before the throne of God constantly interceding for us.  We too have the responsibility as His followers to stand in the gap and intercede for others.  Pray fervently for believers who need encouragement or conviction in certain areas of their lives.  Pray feverishly for the lost, that God might turn their hearts to avoid eternal damnation. Write people’s names you are interceding for on your mirror, on notecards to stick in your book bag or purse, put notes in your calendar-surround yourself with reminders so it is a constant prompt to pray.  Be creative in your intercession-pray while you go for a walk or for a run, pray aloud with your children while they’re playing outside, stick notes in their lunch boxes, text your husband or friends with verses you’ve prayed over them.  The more you do it the better you’ll get at it!  What a privilege to stand for others and find the power we have in learning the heart of God-of how to specifically pray for others and thus turn the heart of God in favor.  “In dealing with mankind nothing is more important to God than prayer.  Prayer is likewise of great importance to God.  Failure to pray is failure in all of life.  It is a failure of duty, service, and spiritual process.  It is only by prayer that God can help people.  He who does not pray, therefore robs himself of God’s help and places God where he cannot help people.” E.M. Bounds

Lord Jesus, please give me the power in Your name to learn this discipline of deep, fervent prayer.  May I start small and as you grow me make me stronger in it-make me creative in it and give me joy in this journey! I do not want to sin and disobey you by not praying.  I do not want to be prayerless and therefore stand in the way of your work.  Forbid me from tying your divine hands and being a hindrance to your work because of my sin of not prayingI want to pray continually like you command us as your followers to do.  Please help me not to rob myself of your great help by not first coming to you.  Help prayer in my life to become as natural as breathing-where it is such a deeply ingrained habit that whenever a problem arises-I pray…whenever thankfulness bursts from within, I pray-praising you…..whatever happens-I pray until it is such a part of my life it is my very default setting. .  Ignite such a passion in my heart to pray that it cannot be contained!  

By Laurel Jeremiadoss

***If you are interested in studying the spiritual disciplines further, most of our teaching comes from Richard Foster’s Celebration of Discipline, Spiritual Disciplines by Donald Whitney and E.M. Bounds’ Weapons of Prayer.

Cultivating a Soldier Soul

“The evangelization of the world is a desperate struggle with the Prince of Darkness and with everything his rage can stir up in the shape of obstacles, vexations, oppositions, and hatred, whether by circumstances or by the hand of man. It is a serious task. Oh, it should mean a life of consecration.”     -Francois Coillard, missionary of the Zambesi in Africa

“He made Himself of no reputation and took upon Him the form of a servant.” Phi. 2:7  “Pray that we may get down to the bottom of that verse,” Amy Carmichael wrote home to some of her prayer warriors back home.  Then we shall be in a position to ask our India brethren to come down and join us for Jesus’ sake.  Pray that we are who are His sworn soldiers abroad may throw our kid gloves to the winds and FIGHT!”  

This is indeed my prayer, our team’s prayer, as we begin facilitating a bush training for African church planters.  It is going to be an exciting time as God has orchestrated exactly who He wants to participate.  It will be a time of hard work.  Even the past month as we have prepared to leave South Sudan for almost 4 months has been difficult.  Knowing that we will not see these precious young believers and churches for that duration of time is difficult.  In fact, it seems like Satan has attacked one particular church, the mother church the most right now.  Although we have spent countless hours discipling and praying with the individuals involved it will not be resolved before we leave.  Many of the people involved are refusing to express humility and forgiveness toward one another. The senior pastor is in the city getting some medical issues taken care of and we are praying for him to return.  Then he will be able to address this issue in full and we are positive that God will use him to bring resolution and restore the peace in the church. Pastor Moses, the senior pastor, is a man of God and is gifted in discernment as well as conflict resolution by using scripture and the Dinka culture to relate to the people. We are praying that this will happen even in our absence.   

Dear Lord, it is so difficult to see the destruction the Prince of Darkness causes when Your children give him a foothold.  Yet, I know You are indeed more powerful.  Please help these young believers to swallow their pride and clothe themselves in love and grace and forgiveness.  In a country that has always known violence and destruction, let Your people rise up in Your Spirit so you may bring healing and restoration.  Nothing is impossible for You!

The South Sudanese people, especially the Dinka pride themselves on being soldiers.  In a matter of days they can put together a 10,000 men army.  We have been told a Dinka man will most likely not rob you but he will kill you.  Our first expat friend here warned us that a Sudanese man had no qualms about this.  During the history of decades of war, countless men and especially kids have seen untold horrors.  It makes me think what this people could do for Jesus if they only followed him completely.  If they allowed Jesus to totally and completely permeate their culture.  This is the hardest part of discipleship here-for the young believers to have the courage to turn away from generations of culture and instead FIRST follow Jesus and demonstrate Biblical culture. 

My prayer is like Amy’s years and years ago-Oh my God, please help us to truly be You to the believers here.  Only then can we ask the Dinka to come down and join us for Your sake.  Help us as your soldiers to throw off anything that hinders us and FIGHT for You!  Dear Lord, help us to lay aside our agendas and instead be servants for You.  In a culture where formality and “big men” and status are so important, give us courage, boldness, and discernment to love like You love Jesus-as we learn to speak their heart language sounding like a child most of the time.  As we often have to ask forgiveness of them as we commit some culture taboo we had no idea existed or there is some kind of language miscommunication that occurs.  I really, truly want to get to the bottom of Philippians 2:7, to serve like You serve so that the Dinka are transformed by Your power.  I consecrate my life to You dear Jesus, I pour out myself as a drink offering to You.  Fill me with Your presence, cultivate a soldier soul in me that I may not grow weary in doing good.  That I may press on towards the prize for which You have called me.  Oh Captain, my Captain lead me on and I will follow.

Viewing Our World Through the Lens of God’s Word

“Only the Word is the answer to rightly reading the world, because The Word has nail-scarred hands that cup our face close, wipe away the tears running down, has eyes to look deep into our brimming ache, and whisper, “I know.  I know.”  The passion on the page is a Person, and the lens I wear of the Word is not abstract idea but the eyes of the God-Man who came and knows the pain.  How does the Word read the world?”  -One Thousand Gifts, Ann Voskamp

Isaiah 14:24:  “Surely, just as I have intended so it has happened, and just as I have planned so it will stand.”

God is in everything.  He is in control of everything.  Everything on heaven and on earth is ultimately under his authority.  Yes, we live in a world torn apart, bleeding, dripping in agony because of sin.  The war happening unseen in the heavenlies even as we speak, is very real, for Satan comes only to steal, kill and destroy.  To steal our joy, to kill our hope, to destroy our faith in God.  Satan does roam around like a lion, mouth open for the kill-seeing who he can devour.  Yet, he is still under the submission of God.  And the Word promises us that God’s eyes search the earth-looking for those who are faithful to Him.  And there is nothing, absolutely nothing that can snatch us out of His hands.

Colossians 1:17-18:  “We look at this Son and see the God who cannot be seen.  We look at this son and see God’s original purpose in everything created.  For everything, absolutely everything, above and below, visible and invisible, rank after rank of angels-everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him.  He was there before any of it came into existence and holds it all together right up to this moment.  And when it comes to the church, he organizes and holds it together, like a head does a body.”  

How quickly I get caught up in my day-to-day things that aren’t going as planned and I lash out at God.  How I often fear what future loss could look like in the building up of my faith-I hear stories of moms thrown in prison for their faith-leaving their families behind.  I shudder.  I read stories of parents who lose a child.  Of children who are born not whole and with short life expectancies.  Of husbands being persecuted for their faith.  I hear stories of innocent children who were abused, of precious girls who were raped-an 11 year old girl raped by her father (here in the town where we live).  Despicable! Prostitutes who sell their bodies because they feel they have nothing else to offer to survive.  In South Sudan, 50,000 children are expected to die of hunger or disease by the end of the year.  I shout at God, WHY?  This is not FAIR!  It’s not their fault.  Don’t you see them?  Don’t you hear their cries?  My heart breaks in two for them. What if that were me?  How can our good God allow such bad things to happen to us?  

“Does disaster come to a city unless the Lord has planned it?”  Amos 3:6

Job 1:21:  “The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”

The Lord whispers to my heart and I gasp.  I feel like God owes me only good things.  I have such an entitlement spirit.  This perspective does not lend to me having a grateful heart and focusing on God’s grace.  Instead, I quickly get mad at God when things don’t go the way I want them too.  I live in fear when I think about the things that could happen to hurt in the future.  Where is my trust in God?  Where is my eternal perspective?  I am a sinner.  I am broken, ugly, fallen from God.  Jesus has saved me-washed me clean by grace.  I need to be thankful that I have been given this day to live.  I don’t deserve it.  I am not good.  The saying “why do bad things happen to good people?”  is simply untrue.  There is nothing good in me.  I am a sinner whose little attempt at holiness on my own is nothing but filthy rags in the sight of our holy God.  The I am.  The God who simple spoke and His WORDS brought life into this world in the beginning-creating the unseen and the seen.  

“See now that I, I am He, and there is no god besides Me; It is I who put to death and give life.  I have wounded and it is I who heal.”  Deuteronomy 32:39. Yes, this is true.  I know it deep down-in the very depths of my soul.  I know it but I often forget it.  I know it but often don’t want to remember because it hurts.   For we do live in a battle every day.  Because we live in a world fallen by sin, we will struggle and just as in any war, we will be wounded.  We will sometimes be maimed.  We will sometimes lose family members, close friends.  But we must have the eternal perspective.  Our time here on earth is but a fleeting moment compared to eternity.  

“The spirit-to-spirit combat I endlessly wage with Satan is this ferocious thrash for joy.  He sneers at all the things that seem to have gone hideously mad in this sin-drunk world, and I gasp to say God is good.  The liar defiantly scrawls his graffiti across God’s glory, and I heave to enjoy God...and Satan strangles, and I whiten knuckles to grasp real Truth and fix that beast to the floor.” 

-One Thousand Gifts, Ann Voskamp

My eyes must wear the lens of God’s Word.  To see that our lives here on earth are but a part of the bigger story of God’s redemption plan for the world.  Ephesians 5:20 calls us to “always give thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.”  

ALL things. 

The good things and the bad things.  

The beautiful and the horrendous.  

For God can work good out of EVERY situation.  

These are hard words to swallow and even harder to live by.  I don’t claim to do this like I should. It is my desire to.  For my faith to be like Job’s-when everything, everybody, even his own body was ripped away and left bleeding-He still chose to praise God.  Oh my God, I want a faith like that!  Help me to view the World through Your Word, through Your precious son.

Children Tie the Mother’s Feet

There is a Tamil (South Indian) proverb that says “Children tie the mother’s feet.”  I find there is a lot of truth in this saying.  Mothering is indeed a full-time job involving much personal sacrifice.  Honestly, when I answered the call to missions I did not have mothering on my mind.  Back in the states before having a baby, I was always by my husband’s side doing ministry and I LOVED it.  I thrived in it and I knew without a doubt that I was being obedient to the Lord.  Then we had our first child and I realized that things would have to change some.  I was working full-time outside of the home and in order to spend time with our daughter I had to cut back my hours of ministry in the church.  I could no longer be by Selvin’s side in every ministry endeavor, I was needed at home to take care of our baby.  This was indeed difficult, though I loved spending time with Abigail.  Nevertheless, it was still a big life change for me.  But we adjusted and found a rhythm. Then we got to the mission field and we had our second daughter and things had to shift again.  I was no longer working outside of the home and it was a big adjustment for me to be at home all the time with the girls.  Like I said before, I didn’t realize the priority and time involved in mothering and how it would impact my life.

I confess that there are many days here in South Sudan where I feel limited to what I can do as far as ministry goes because of all the work that mothering involves.  There are so many times I long to go out into the villages more and be with the women-talking, visiting, building relationships, sharing Bible stories.  But I often cannot because I need to take care of my children.  I need to bear my weight of caring for them so I can free up Selvin to go out and do the work he needs to as well. It is a continual learning process as we try different things to give each other time to minister but as we also learn how to minister together as a family.  For our calling to the mission field is a family calling.

I am indeed learning, as Amy Carmichael did as the Lord began to give her Indian children (former child temple prostitutes and orphans) “that if the Lord of Glory took a towel and knelt on the floor to wash the dusty feet of His disciples (the job of the lowest slave in an Eastern household), then no work, even the relentless and often messy routine of caring for squalling babies, is demeaning.  To offer it up to the Lord of Glory transforms it into a holy task.  It is not the business of the servant to decide which work is great, which is small, which important or unimportant-he is not greater than his master.  If by doing some work which the undiscerning consider ‘not spiritual work’ I can best help others, and I inwardly rebel, thinking it is the spiritual for which I crave, when in truth it is the interesting and exciting, then I know nothing of Calvary love.”  

It is my prayer that I’m able to be obedient to the Lord in this every day.  I want to rejoice that I am enlisted in the sacred job of mothering and though my children tie my feet, I want them to be tied-I must allow them to be tied during this season of my life, for the sake of Jesus whose feet were once nailed to the cross for me.

Lord, I pray that every act of service I do for my children, for my teammates’ children, for children here in Dinka land, that I would view it as an act of worship unto You.  For you have called me to my task for such a time as this.  You are my master and you have seen fit to bless us with children. This job of parenting is indeed sacred-You show me this every day and I want to honor and follow you with my whole heart in this mission field.  

As my feet are tied to my girls I pray that I would be tied to you. As I offer my body as a sacrifice every day to You please give me the grace, strength and mercy that I need.  Help me not to inwardly rebel in disobedience or to wrongly view motherhood as a hindrance-instead by the power of your Holy Spirit keep my eyes open to follow You.  To follow Your will in teaching my children, sharing Your stories with the women I have relationships with in the villages, in knowing when to bring the girls along and when to leave them at home.  It is such a struggle sometimes to know what You desire of me in this area of my life as I strive to balance my job as a mother and as a missionary.  Help me to see how they are indeed one in many ways and to seek your perfect wisdom each day, even moment by moment.  Tie me to You my God and never let me go.