The DNA of my Spiritual Fiber

The team meeting house under construction

Abigail helping Mommy do laundry

Our toilet with a beautiful mountainside view

Selvin and our Dinka friend John working 

Our kitchen

The schoolhouse almost complete!

Laurel & Abby helping tie straw bundles 

Abby and her friend Steven inside our shower

Written February 1, 2013

Thank You Lord for a better day today!  Yesterday I felt pretty weak and so our supervisor started me on fruit and vegetable supplements. (I had already been taking my prenatal vitamins.) It’s amazing how much better I feel already.  Today was a day of rest for us because we’re still waiting on the supplies to begin building the meeting house and schoolhouse.  After Abby and I did laundry we read through the 4 Max Lucado books we brought up here- Hermie, the Common Caterpillar”, “Just in Case You Ever Wonder”, “You are Special”, and “The Tallest of Smalls”.  Such sweet books and some of her favorites right now.  We read a few chapters in Psalm and then Abby wanted me to tell her stories from our family and friends memories in America.  So in lei of having no access to home videos out in the bush, (Abby’s absolute favorite thing to watch even over toddler videos or movies) we recalled those precious times through me telling her stories about them!  It was a lot of fun although it did make me miss everyone so much.  

Lord, make me creative in spending time with Abby.  This is a big stretch going from working full-time outside of the home to learning how to be a full-time stay-at-home mom.  But I praise You so much for it!  I’m so thankful to be able to do it.  Keep me humble and ever ready to learn from the community of missionary mothers you have placed around me.  I praise You for their love, support, and accountability.

I think I’m beginning to get used to life up here-at least I’m in the very beginning stages of learning to be content.  Before today everything within me screamed for our training to be over and done with.  Lord, please keep 1 Timothy 6 on the forefront of my mind and implant it into the depths of my heart!  I truly desire for godliness with contentment to be great gain in my life as You promise in Your Word.  We brought nothing into this world and we cannot bring anything out.  But, if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content.  How different these words ring with a new truth as we’re living out in the bush-with just a pair of shoes and a few sets of clothes each. How powerful Your Word is Lord and always able to teach us a new lesson or remind us of Your promises.   

I pray that just as You tell us in vs. 11, that I would indeed pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, and gentleness.  That I would continue to fight the good fight of faith.  Help me to take hold of the eternal life to which You called me and about which I have made a good confession of in the presence of many witnesses. 

God has really put the song “10,000 Reasons” (Matt Redman) on my heart the past couple of weeks.  All of us at bush training have really enjoyed learning it together and singing it as we worship.

Bless the Lord, O my soul, O my soul,
Worship His holy name.
Sing like never before, O my soul.
I’ll worship Your holy name.
The sun comes up, it’s a new day dawning;
It’s time to sing Your song again.
Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me,
Let me be singing when the evening comes.

Bless the Lord, O my soul, O my soul,
Worship His holy name.
Sing like never before, O my soul.
I’ll worship Your holy name

You’re rich in love, and You’re slow to anger.
Your name is great and Your heart is kind.
For all Your goodness I will keep on singing,
Ten thousand reasons for my heart to find.

Bless the Lord, O my soul, O my soul,
Worship His holy name.
Sing like never before, O my soul.
I’ll worship Your holy name

And on that day when my strength is failing,
The end draws near and my time has come;
Still my soul will sing Your praise unending,
Ten thousand years and then forevermore.

Bless the Lord, O my soul, O my soul,
Worship His holy name.
Sing like never before, O my soul.
I’ll worship Your holy name

Written February 6, 2013

How quickly it seems my emotions can flip back and forth.  The past couple of days I’ve felt like time is going by really slowly with the same old, same old.  It seems to be taking forever for the Karamajong workers to get the schoolhouse and meeting place done.  Ugh!  We are only able to help a little bit because this is all new to us (although it is a great experience).  I’m ready for them to be done so we can get started with classes and have a change of pace with everything.  This morning we had a really good team devotion with our supervisor.  It was encouraging because we talked about rejoicing in our suffering and trials.  This is hard to do when reality hits such as this-when it feels like the day is dragging on-hours upon hours stuck on top of a mountain with little control of what we do.  Yet if I want to grow in my faith I must be willing to do this and do it joyfully so I don’t waste this growth experience.  If I am just waiting for it to end or counting the days then this is all for nothing.  I DON’T want that!  I don’t want to leave this training unchanged or even the same as when I started it.  I was reminded of Philippians 4:6-7:  “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”  Thank You dear Jesus for reminding me how important it is to have an attitude of thanksgiving-how this is directly linked to possessing Your inward peace.  

Vs. 8-9:  “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.  What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me-practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”

How often we forget the above verses or somewhat take them out of context.  When you read it all together and really meditate over them you see how very connected they are to having the peace of God.  How when I fill my mind with spiritual things I will indeed find peace- God Himself will be with me because all of these qualities describe His character!  So dear Lord, I ask for this now.  For You to help me fill my mind with these things, especially when I get discouraged.  

Please help me to make vs. 11-13 true of my faith in You:

“Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.  I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound.  In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.  I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.”  

This is it, Lord!  Make this the DNA of my spiritual fiber!  Please continue to bring these words to my mind so they become part of my heart’s design.  You are in control and even when I don’t understand why something is happening, I pray I would trust in Your ways that are so much higher than mine.  Make this my pure and holy passion!  May You find me faithful!

And so Bush Training Begins

*****I'll be posting several blogs over the next couple of weeks written during our time at bush training when we had no access to Internet.  Stay tuned!  

1st Day of Bush Training:  January 26, 2013

Date of Journal Entry:  Monday January 28, 2013

It’s so hard to believe still-that we’re in Uganda-in AFRICA-on top of a mountain in the middle of nowhere-living in a hut!  I think back on my life a year ago and at what I’d be doing-sitting in a public school classroom filled with 8th graders teaching Social Studies.  At times I think-what a comfy life that was and oh how I loved it.  And even more than teaching-how I LOVED and CHERISHED working with the youth and college students at Crossbridge.  I miss them so much sometimes it hurts.  Selvin and I had such a wonderful life in America-really the American dream in a way.  Why did we leave that to come live in a hut in a dry, almost barren, hot land?  The answer although simple is really the most costly for us.  So many of the people here-even just the Karamajong people here in Lotem, have never even heard the name of Jesus before.  That should break my heart on a a daily basis and help me do away with my selfish nature.  

Oh Jesus, you know what a long way I have to come.  But You who have called me will equip me and I hear Your promise over and over again-my grace is sufficient for you.  Help me to just take one day at a time.  Give me Your strength to be thankful for the food we have-to eat for nourishment and not entertainment.  Give us wisdom with Abigail.  Give her a good appetite when meals come and help us to be patient with her.  Since we arrived in Kaabong she’s started having temper tantrums/meltdowns.  I know it’s part of how she’s dealing with the transitions (and a normal 2 1/2 behavior) but Selvin and I haven’t known what to do exactly.  Give us the discernment we need to show her grace and tough love when we need to.  

Give me a servant’s heart towards our other team members.   Give me Your eyes to see when extra help or a word of encouragement is needed-make my hands quick to help and a keep a blessing word ever on my tongue.

I thank You dear Jesus for Your beautiful reminder of sustaining faithfulness in Psalms 3.  Just as You kept David safe as Your righteous son so many years ago so shall You sustain us now.  You are my shield, my glory, the lifter of my head.  I pray tonight that when I lie down to sleep I will remember that You alone are a shield about us.  Help me not to be afraid of rats or snakes or bugs or raids.  Keep us safe in Your arms, my God!

I think my favorite time here is at night once the scorching sun has gone down, the moon is rising, and the winds are picking up as it gets cooler.  After dinner when we are just talking and enjoying each other’s fellowship-like last night when we enjoyed some hot chai.  Help me to bless You and have a grateful heart for things I might not have noticed or even appreciated before.  This experience is already proving to be the most difficult thing we’ve ever done-help me to cling to You so that You can do an amazing work in my life.

Below:  Here are some pictures of our living conditions out at bush training.  These are the cots we will be sleeping on, Abby's tent, our green metal box (the only thing we were allowed to pack with our belongings) and a picture of our hut.

Here at Last!

It has finally happened.  We are living in Africa!!!!  What a journey the Lord has brought us through to get us to this point.  It's really been years in the making and we've longed in our hearts to be here much sooner.  But we praise God for His PERFECT TIMING.  I am so very thankful that He has orchestrated our time line to get here.  His ways are so much higher than ours and this is one of those times I especially recognize and appreciate that fact.

Our last few weeks in America were great although bittersweet.  They flew by and left us torn between wanting just a little more time there and our yearning to be where God has called us.  We are so thankful that we were able to spend time with our family and friends.  Although there were so many other people we wanted to hang out with, we are trusting that we will meet again soon (either here in Africa or when we visit the states again).  

The next few months in Africa will be full of many transitions for us.  We have many trainings to go through that will be taking place in countries all around Sub Saharan Africa.


As we begin to get adjusted to the African way of life here in Uganda, I am realizing what a paradox everything here seems.  Life is more difficult yet much simpler. There are so many things to get used to-time and climate change, driving on the left side of the road, new foods, and a whole new culture.  I feel like a child again in many ways as I learn different ways to do things I’ve done my whole life-washing clothes, cooking, taking a bath, etc.  It just takes longer to do things!  This is a lot in and of itself to get used to.  Then throw in learning language, meshing with new team members, raising a kid here, and being pregnant, and whoo!  Some days it seems like it’s all Selvin and I can do just to get the practical things done.  

But this is only the beginning, this is life in an African city.  When we get out to the bush it gets even more difficult-bucket showers, cooking over an open flame, living in huts, etc.  From a practical standpoint, it would be easy to say, WHAT WERE WE THINKING MOVING TO AFRICA?  Yet, we are reminded almost on a daily basis of the calling the Lord has placed on our lives.  When we think of seeing our Kaabong national friends again (in just a few days) or we see Abby’s face light up as she shakes a Ugandan child’s hand, our hearts overflow with thankfulness that our great God is in control.  The other day the Lord reminded me of this when I read Isaiah 41:8-10:

“But you, Israel, my servant, 
Jacob, whom I have chosen, 
the offspring of Abraham, my friend; 
you whom I took from the ends of the earth,
and called from its farthest corners, 
saying to you, “You are my servant,
I have chosen you and not cast you off”;
fear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” 

And so in reading this, I find strength.  I take a deep breath, hold my head high as I look to my Helper on high, and I say THANK YOU, THANK YOU JESUS!  YOU WILL UPHOLD ME AS YOUR RIGHTEOUS CHILD.  YOU ARE IN CONTROL AND I WILL TRUST IN YOU!

I Am a Good-For-Nothing Slave, I Have Only Done My Duty

"You also, as living stones, are being built up as a spiritual house for a holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ........But you are A CHOSEN RACE, A ROYAL PRIESTHOOD, A HOLY NATION, A PEOPLE for God's OWN POSSESSION, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; for you once were NOT A PEOPLE, but now you are the PEOPLE OF GOD; you had NOT RECEIVED MERCY but now you RECEIVED MERCY."     1 Peter 2:5, 9-10

God loves us.  Completely.  Deeply.  Madly.  And He has called us to be a HOLY PEOPLE for HIS GLORY.  When I STOP (not just pause for a brief second but really stop and wait on the Lord) and truly THINK about this it MOVES me. It moves me to action.  To get up and do something about this incredible outpouring of God's love for me-to share it in real, tangible life-giving ways to others.  The God of our universe, the Creator of all things, loves me!  A finite human being-an ant of a person really.

One of the stories that Robert (one of our team leaders) shared with us during our Vision Trip was Luke 17:7-10.  It was very humbling to me.  He shared it one evening as we set around the dinner table a few days after we arrived in Kaabong.  I was feeling pretty proud of myself for being in Africa and being obedient to God's call.  Then Bobby shared the story and I was like boom!  Sucker-punched in the heart!  What a blow to my pride. These verses had never stood out to me before but after he told them as a story (several times) it finally began to sink in.  Here I was giving myself satisfied pats on the back for going to Uganda, and the Word of the Lord, living and breathing cut me to the core, revealing the sin in my heart.

Dear Jesus, any righteousness in my life I try to offer on my own is like filthy rags.  Anything good in me is only the result of YOU.  If I am going to take up my cross and follow You I have to see myself as Your SERVANT, Your SLAVE.  Please forgive me for my pride when I am only doing what You have commanded me to do-to  GO and make DISCIPLES of ALL NATIONS.  I praise You that just as You have called me to this task, You will also equip me with the daily grace to accomplish it for Your Glory!  Continue to search my heart and reveal the areas in my life that need to be given to You completely.  

May we fall in love with our Savior more and more each day and seek His will for our lives.  May we make it our daily prayer that when we stand before the King of Kings we have done all He has commanded us to do and yet we say with humility and adoration, "We are good-for-nothing slaves; we've only done our duty."

Saturday, August 25:

Yesterday was an amazing day-by far our best day in Africa yet!  Selvin and I along with the team were given the choice of 4 different assignments to complete during our time here these 6 weeks:  1) to live in the tuekel for 2 days, 2) to bathe in the boar hole for 7 days, 3) to fast for 72 hours, 4) to do 10 hours straight of language learning outside of the base camp.  We chose the last one!  And we were a little nervous because we could only bring 1 liter of water, diapers for Abby, and our language learning notebooks.  No money or snacks or anything else was allowed.  But Selvin and I really prayed the night before about it and gave it to the Lord.  It was such an affirming day on our calling here too-being with the people out in the villages, learning more language, about the culture, and becoming more familiar with Kaabong. It was really good for us as a family too in experiencing this outing together.  Abby did really well too bless her heart, even with her lingering diarrhea from her virus the whole week earlier.    

We first left the mission at 8 a.m. and headed out to Peter Ben’s village to meet up with him (this is Selvin’s language tutor).  We got to talk with him and many people from his village just sitting on the ground outside the manyata.  

After a couple of hours we took off towards town and Judiss (my language tutor) came running to greet us from where she had been working in her family’s field.  I was so excited to see her! It had occurred to me that it would be awesome to meet up with her but since I couldn't just call her up on the phone (she doesn't have one) and let her know we were out and about, I did the best thing any way-I prayed that God would allow our paths to cross today.  And He answered me!  I had been wanting to meet her family and visit her home but we hadn’t been able to yet.  Judiss left her work in the field to hang out with us and we were finally able to go do this. It is amazing to me the power friendship holds here-both her and Peter Ben just dropped everything they were doing to help us and spend time with us because we are all friends. Would I be that willing to drop my normally very scheduled day to do this?  Lord, I know I have much to learn!  When we arrived at her village we found it to be behind a beautiful wall of sunflowers-absolutely gorgeous!  After crawling under and through the tiny protected doorways of her village, we all sat and talked for a while at her manyata.  Abby took a nap on my lap as we sat in the cool shade there.


Today God really began putting an intense love for Judiss in my heart for her to know Him.  I found out today that she is Catholic.  (At least this is what her family is although I am uncertain if she truly practices it or if it is more of a cultural thing.)  Judiss asked me for money for her boarding school fees.  Lord, I pray that You would give Selvin and I wisdom about how to best help her and her family.  Begging is so common here from everyone and I don’t want to make the problem worse but I do want to help.  Show me the way, Lord!

After a couple of hours we left Judiss’ village and headed to town.  We went to Riverside Restaurant (this was the first restaurant in Kaabong we’ve ever eaten in) and had chaptis!  Yum!  Judiss paid for us since we had no money.  She is 15 years old which seems like she is so much older most times.  I was so blessed by her incredible generosity and willingness to help us out!  

As we walked to town we met her mom (who has been in the hospital because she had surgery to remove her liver because of some problems).  They look so much alike!  Then we visited Joyce (one of the missionary’s house helpers here) with her newborn baby which she decided to name Night (because she was born at night time).  I then discovered that she is also Judiss’ aunt!  

On our way both to town and leaving it, crowds of people-especially children gathered-following us and asking us questions.  Lots of people wanted Abigail.  We had many great opportunities to practice our Karamajong too!  We took our time, enjoying ourselves since we were in no rush to get home.  It was nice not having to rush and actually having plenty of time to visit with no particular agenda.  We got to meet Judiss’ dad who actually doesn’t live with them but she says they are close and see each other every day.  It’s so hard to understand culture here-where it’s acceptable and quite common for men to have a couple of wives.  God, give me understanding for this concept as I ask questions.  Show me how I need to change my worldview when learning their culture and not try to fit them into my American worldview.  

A little while later Judiss headed back to her village because she was needed at home.  We continued on with Peter Ben.  We visited another guy named Peter who owns a store across from the mission.  Judiss had left some money with Peter Ben so we could get a few snacks.  We bought biscuits and Coke.  Selvin bought some extra bisuits to share with a bunch of kids who live near Peter’s store.  Then we continued on our leisurely journey (after meeting J.B.’s father who is actually the guy who is always to excited to see Laura and I when we are running, no matter how many times we pass by).  We went back to Peter Ben’s village and actually hung out inside of his hut.  He was so hospitable-inviting us inside where we all sat, tightly cramped together but so comfy, eating our biscuits and drinking our refreshing, chilled Cokes.  Although I’ve been to a couple of villages before I had never sat inside of one.  Peter Ben was so proud of his home because he had built it with his own two hands.  It was literally only big enough for us 3 adults and a baby all sitting together, side-by-side.  Yet his generosity was so humbling to me because he offered all he had to us.  God, bless him and Judiss along with their families.  I thank You for the beautiful example of their sacrificial giving today.  

Our day began to wrap up as we headed back towards the mission.  Along the way we met up with some guys who invited Selvin and Peter Ben to play football (soccer).  It was great watching Selvin enjoy himself as he continued to build relationships with the men of the community.  Abby and I played with some of the village kids and shared more biscuits on the sidelines.  She had a ball!  Then we said goodbye to our Karamajong friends and headed back to the mission.  Jesus, I thank You for such an incredible day today!  I pray for countless more days such as this to get to truly know the people and learn about the culture here.  Help me to love the Karamajong like You do!

Our fragrance or stink?

I recently finished up the James Bible Study by Beth Moore with a friend from work. It has been incredible and sooooo convicting. This quote really spoke to me:

"James wrote for people serving actively, openly, and humbly right in the world's thick, pungent pollution. So, how on earth do we serve in it without smelling like it? With serious discipline and determination, that's how. With courage and deep conviction. With a large daily dose of the Holy Ghost. You don't live this kind of life accidentally. You make up your mind who you want to be and daily die to the rest. You surrender yourself to living in the tension where you'll always be stretched and often be broken. Religion pure and undefiled is grit without the grime. You accept that far easier ways to live exist, but you were born for nothing less. And when we sniff ourselves and smell the world, we run to the One who can wash us."

Lord, this is my prayer that I DAILY, MOMENT BY MOMENT surrender to your Holy Spirit at work in my life-as scary as it might sometimes be. Help me to be open to all that You would have me do each day-to see every opportunity you place in front of me for what it is-a chance to share Your love and hope in tangible ways that ultimately lead others to Your saving grace.

Your Sphere of Influence

"I have revealed you to those whom you gave me out of the world. They were yours; you gave them to me and they have obeyed your word. Now they know that everything you have given me comes from you. For I gave them the words you gave me and they accepted them. They knew with certainty that I came from you, and they believed that you sent me. I pray for them. I am not praying for the world, but for those you have given me, for they are yours." John 17:6-9

How powerful are these words from Jesus as he prays to the Father. These words spoke to me in such a different way when I read them today. How interesting that Jesus says he is not praying for the WORLD but for THOSE God has given him. What a vivid reminder that it is GOD who gives us people in our spheres of influences to share the Good News of Him with and to disciple. It is the duty of EVERY Christian to share Christ and make disciples of the people God has given them influence over. And how incredible that God so beautifully matches these people with the gifts and talents He's given us.

Our individual spheres of influences take so many different forms. For me, God has put specific people into my life as a wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend, pastor's wife, and teacher. Take my sphere of influence as a teacher in a public school for instance; God has put many people into my "world" there-my students, their parents, community leaders, and my fellow collegues-whether they are teachers, media specialists, or custodial staff, the parents, etc. Or another part of my sphere of influence-being the wife of a Student Pastor-the youth, college students, and even kids. And one day in the near future my sphere of influence will expand globally as we move to South Sudan and make disciples of the precious people there!

So it is really FANTASTIC how God has a purpose specific to each of our lives. If we only surrender to Him COMPLETELY: We must truly do as Romans 12:1 says "Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship." God does have our best in mind!