I WAS THE LION

[Aslan speaking to Shasta] “I WAS THE LION who forced you to join with Aravis. I WAS THE CAT who comforted you among the houses of the dead. I WAS THE LION who drove the jackals from you while you slept. I WAS THE LION who gave the horses the new strength of fear for the last mill so that you should reach King Lune in time. And I WAS THE LION you do not remember who pushed the boat in which you lay, a child near death, so that it came to shore where a man sat, wakeful at midnight, to receive you.”

This year my girls and I have begun reading through the Narnia series by C.S. Lewis.  He has always been one of my favorite authors and I’ve been so excited to watch as my kids develop a love for his work.  A few months back we finished reading “The Horse and His Boy” (one of the earlier books in the series).  I was struck by the unique way that Lewis painted a picture of the presence of Jesus in our lives through his infamous character Aslan. I wanted to share some of the beautiful parallels he gave that spoke to my heart and whispered of Christ’s love for us.

The book tells the story of an orphan boy named Shasta and his adventures-often quite perilous- as he makes his journey to the land of Narnia. He does not know who Aslan is until the end of the book.  The quote above is when Aslan is talking to him.  I was reminded of the truth of God’s Emmanuel presence, woven through scriptures like…

John 1:14: “And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father full of grace and truth.”

Matthew 28:19-20: “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you.  And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

 Revelation 21:3: “And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man.  He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God.”

I recently read a blog called, “God Where I Don’t Expect Him” https://sarahclarkson.com/thoroughly-alive/2018/7/12/god-where-i-dont-expect-him

where the writer reflected on how her life changed as she just had her first precious baby.  As she strived to prepare her heart for this new season, she tried to sort through anxieties and worries and sought out one of her mentors for his wisdom. In response to her expressed fears he said, “I wonder if what you’re really fearing is that you will lose the presence of God…We all have a way we are used to finding God; a certain rhythm of being, an emotional or mental state we seek by habit that helps us to come to a place of peace or prayer, centeredness or calm.  If you, by nature, usually find joy in the transcendent-in movement and travel, in big ideas and long times of reading and huge swathes of silence-the prospect of a life in which those activities are severely curbed can make you feel that you’ll lose your way to comfort, or hope in God.”

These thoughts resonated in my soul as I pondered the different ways in the past I have felt comfortable finding God’s presence.  As a college student, I remember having long quiet times where I could read the Bible, listen to praise music, and journal for hours. That was amazing! 

(I WAS THE LION)

When I started having kids, it was a rare occasion to be able to carve out hours for my devotional every day; so I settled for a few minutes where I could grab it. I began posting Bible verses around my house-in the kitchen or on the bathroom sink mirror-places I frequented often where I could read it ponder it as I went about my day.

(I WAS THE LION)

Then I moved to Africa and began learning another language and learned the meaning of humility and dependence on the Lord in a whole new way. (I WAS THE LION)

I began to fall in love with the Dinka of South Sudan and as our lives intersected together each day, I began to truly understand what it would be like to worship with ALL nations before His throne one day.

(I WAS THE LION)

We left South Sudan with bleeding, broken hearts and Jesus began to teach me what true lamentations looked like. 

(I WAS THE LION)

Then the Lord used prayer to teach me about seeking His presence-learning to sit quietly before Him and to give space for Him to speak to me. (I WAS THE LION)

Last year we moved to Uganda for a new place of service and I learned that many are a man’s plans but God’s ways are so much higher than ours. (I WAS THE LION)

Then God started using my time exercising to show me His presence-running down the road as I listened to music, admiring His beautiful creation of the rocky, rolling hills.  

(I WAS THE LION)

During one of our recent Karamajong church meetings, I looked around at my beloved brothers and sisters in Christ with a heart overwhelmed with wonder and love.  I am challenged every day by their faith. 

(I WAS THE LION)

This month, He has begun to show me His presence while sitting and playing UNO with my kids.  Just being fully present in the moment with them, encouraged by their youth and innocence. (I WAS THE LION)

As I think back, I realize how often my heart becomes content in the comfort of the familiar patterns in my life, only to be jolted out into a new season. But the wonderful thing is that if I truly ask myself this question-am I willing to be stretched and challenged to see God’s presence in new ways in new seasons then I know my expectations will not be disappointed because God DOES NOT disappoint.  He exceeds my expectations in EVERY WHICH WAY. And you know what the biggest thing is that I’m learning?

Wait for it….

 I am learning that I am the one who is changing-He is ALWAYS with us- UNCHANGING and CONSTANT and SURE, it is me who is learning simply to RECOGNIZE His daily presence in my life, to be FULLY PRESENT in the MOMENT.

Drop the mike

Let me restate this truth for you and me. The presence of Jesus is ALWAYS with us; it is only a question if we recognize him.  Do we hurry through our days and miss His Spirit gently leading us to us to slow down and savor Him?  Or do we rest in Him and learn to keep our ears attuned to His voice?  For we have this promise:

“Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.” James 4:8

So today I am going to try and rest at the feet of my Savior, letting go of my worries and trusting in Him to provide the grace I need for each moment.  For He IS THE LION!

Brokenness is Beauty

“The very thing we are afraid of, our brokenness, is the door to our Father’s heart.” Paul Miller

Broken.  When we hear this word images often come to our minds of jagged pieces forlornly scattered on the floor, bodies ravished from sickness or disease, or maybe even shattered hearts figuratively bleeding in pain.  Whatever you may think of when you hear this word, we can probably all agree that it is not usually a positive image.  But what if we’ve been viewing broken wrong all this time?  Quite honestly, we see it as a negative thing-especially in our current culture.  We want to have it all together or at least appear to-trying to hide behind our masks of put-togetherness, especially on social media-a virtual DIY façade that we fight desparately to maintain (oftentimes subconcisously).

 I recently finished reading “The Broken Way” by Ann Voskamp.  Like her other work I’ve read, her writing compels me to go deep and really ponder things.  And so the past year or so as I’ve slowly digested her book, the theme of brokenness has been on the forefront of my mind; and consequently (or should I say because of God’s perfect timing and plan to teach me in context) the theme of our life here on the mission field as well has been wrought with wave after wave of brokenness.

We often equate brokenness with pain don’t we?  Raw and exposed.  All our faults laid bare before those we trust and those we don’t.

Yet, what do we see when we look at God’s word? If we take a closer look I think we’ll  be pleasantly surprised.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18

It seems to me that the Lord takes great pleasure in loving the broken-hearted.

If we look in the natural order of things we see that brokenness is the only way that can lead to growth…

“I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.” John 12:24

“The seed breaks to give us the wheat.  The soil breaks to give us the crop, the sky breaks to give us the rain, the wheat breaks to give us the bread.  And the bread breaks to give us the feast. There was once even an alabaster jar that broke to give Him all the glory.”  (Voskamp)

When a baby chick emerges into the world it does so by breaking through the shell of its egg that once nurtured and gave it life. But then comes the time when this same shell becomes a prison and the chick must peck through piece by piece in order to enter the world and life awaiting it there to be learned from its mother.  In fact, if the mother helps the chick break through the egg it will not survive-it must struggle through it in order to thrive.

In order for an avocado tree to bear fruit it must be broken-nails driven in or beat so that it can burst forth with life.  We have seen this firsthand on our Ugandan compound as our Karamajong friends beat our avocado tree (which hadn’t produced in 8 years) but as a result of their tough love it is now producing beautiful fruit.

“There is no growth without change, no change without surrender, no surrender without wound-no abundance without breaking. Wounds are what break open the soul to plant the seeds of deeper growth.” (Voskamp)

Then the ultimate example…to find life we must lose it. When Jesus is serving the Last Supper to his disciples, talking about the breaking of his body and the blood that will be spilt on the cross as a sacrifice for the brokenness of mankind’s sins-all of us Sons of Adam and Daughters of Eve (as C.S. Lewis so simply yet eloquently puts it in His Narnia series).

Jesus’ body was broken on the cross and He suffered the most painful death in the fight to defeat sin and then broke through the chains of death through his resurrection-making atonement for our sins and providing a way for eternal life for all who believe.  This sacrificial act of brokenness is beautiful!  And if we are His disciples then this means if we are broken for Him it is a thing of beauty.

"He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not." Isaiah 53:3

It certainly seems to be a paradox to us-this brokenness that can ultimately lead to life.  But it does not always do so, does it?  So often we get caught up in the cares of this world that we lose hope and don’t move forward from our brokenness-we don’t allow our God who has power over every brokenness to offer us life and hope and perseverance. We’ve all been there and known someone who has been in this state. Maybe it’s your family member or friend whom you love dearly who just can’t seem to shake if off.  It’s such a difficult place to be at-to be so aware of the brokenness of this world, of the effects of sin that wants to wreek havoc on our lives, to be so aware of our own fraility and brokenness as human beings, is it not?  I have been there many times as of late. 

“Out of feeling lavishly loved by God, one can break and give away that lavish love-and know the complete fullness of love.  The miracle happens in the breaking.” (Voskamp)

We see this to be true in our own lives when we give of ourselves, serving others only to find peace and energy and joy in our giving!

 “Brokenness happens in a soul so the power of God can happen in a soul.  “There is such terrible darkness within me, as if everything was dead…I do not know how deeper will this trial go-how much pain and suffering it will bring to me. This does not worry me anymore. I leave this to Him as I leave everything else…Let Him do with me whatever He wants as He wants for as long as He wants if my darkness is light to some soul.” Mother Teresa

So dear Jesus, I pray that you will show me how to find you in my brokenness and that I would allow it to grow me in Your beauty. Fill me with your peace and your assurance that shores up all my broken places and mends all the pieces of my aching heart. May I be vulnerable and courageous to show the world so that others will see your miracle working power in my own life.  Help me to follow Your Spirit each day and to live out of humility and beautiful brokenness so that my life can minister to others. To you all the glory!

Let our hearts rejoice and take great comfort from these promises in God’s word:

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot. A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance." Ecclesiastes 3:1-4

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.  When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.”- Isaiah 43:2

And provide for those who grieve in Zion-- to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.-Isaiah 61:3