Of all the spiritual disciplines none has been more abused than the discipline of submission. For some reason we have taken this amazing discipline and turned it into something that is seen as bad-weak and demeaning. But in reality every discipline has its corresponding freedom once we learn how to consistently make them a part of our daily lives as Christ-followers. We must be careful not to become legalistic as we learn these disciplines because the moment we make the discipline our central focus, we turn it into law, and therefore lose the corresponding freedom.
The disciplines are for the purpose of realizing a greater good. In and of themselves they are of no value whatever. They have value only as a means of setting us before God so that He can give us liberation we seek. The liberation, the freedom is the end, and the disciplines are merely the means. They are not the answer, they only lead us to the answer: Jesus, Jesus, more of Jesus. Less of me and more of Him. Abundant life in God! We must clearly understand the limitation of the disciplines if we are to avoid bondage. Let us forever center on Christ and view the spiritual disciplines as a way of drawing us closer to His heart.
So then….what freedom corresponds to submission? The ability to lay down the terrible burden of always needing to get our own way. The obsession to demand that things go the way we want them to go is one of the greatest bondages in human society today. WHAT?! Talk about gut-wrenching conviction. So this is why I struggle so much with submission. When all other things are stripped away and I get down to the heart of the matter-I don’t want to submit to my husband, to my leaders, to my team because I really just want to do things my way.
In the discipline of submission we are released to drop the matter and forget about it. Frankly, most things in life are not nearly as important as we think they are. Our lives will not come to an end if that or that does not happen. I find myself struggling with this on a daily basis-when I find myself upset because the plans I made for the day are not going the way I had hoped.
The biblical teaching of submission focuses primarily on the spirit with which we view other people. Scripture does not attempt to set forth a series of hierarchical relationships but to communicate to an inner attitude of mutual subordination. Peter, for example, called upon the slave of his day to live in submission to their masters (1 Peter 2:18). This advice seems unnecessary until we realize that it is quite possible for servants to obey their masters without living in a spirit of submission over them. Outwardly we can do what people ask and inwardly be in rebellion against them. This concern for a spirit of consideration towards others is seen in the entire New Testament.
The old covenant commands us that we must not murder (10 commandments). Jesus, however, stressed that the real issue was the inner spirit of murder with which we view people. In a matter of submission the same is true; the real issue is the spirit of consideration and respect we have for each other.
In submission we are at last free to value other people. Their dreams, their plans become important to us. We have entered into a new, wonderful, glorious freedom. The freedom to give up our own rights for the good of others. For the first time we can love people unconditionally. We have given up the right to demand that they return our love. No longer do we feel we have to be treated a certain way. We rejoice in their successes. We feel genuine sorrow in their failures. It is of little consequence that our plans are frustrated if their plans succeed. We discover that it is far better to serve others, than to have our own way. This inner attitude of submission reflects the servant attitude we see in Philippians 2 describing Jesus.
Do you know the liberation that comes from giving up your rights? It means you are set free from the seething anger and bitterness you feel when someone does not act towards you in the way you think they should. Foster says, “It means that at last you are able to break the vicious law of commerce that says “you scratch my back, I’ll scratch your back; you bloody my nose, I’ll bloody your nose.” It means you are free to obey Jesus’ command, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matt. 5.44). It means that for the first time you understand how it is possible to surrender the right to retaliate; “if any one strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also” (Matt. 5:39).
The Cornerstone:
We have been looking at the discipline for submission through the back door. Because I began with explaining what it does to you before even defining this discipline. I did this because most of us have been exposed to such a bad form of submission that we have either embraced this deformity or we have rejected this discipline as a whole.
The cornerstone for the biblical understanding of submission is in Jesus’ astonishing words “If any man would come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross and follow me” (Mark 8:34). Almost instinctively we draw back from these words. We are much more comfortable with words like “self-fulfillment” or “self-actualization” than we are with the thought of self-denial. (In reality, Jesus’ teaching on self-denial is the only thing that will bring us genuine self-fulfillment and self-actualization.)
Self-denial probably conjures up a number of weird images about self-hatred, we might imagine that it most certainly means the rejection of our individuality and identity as a person.
But the exact opposite of that image is true, Jesus called us to self-denial without self-hatred. Self-denial is simply a way of coming to understand that we do not have to have our own way. Our happiness is not dependent upon getting what we want.
Let’s take a minute to look at a few “self” terms and view them through the Biblical lens of the Word:
Self Denial Vs. Identity
Self-denial does not meant the loss of our identity. Without identity we could not even be subject to each other. Foster says, “Did Jesus lose his identity when he set his face toward Golgotha? Did Peter lose his identity when he responded to Jesus’ cross-bearing command, “Follow me” (John 21:19)? Did Paul lose his identity when he committed himself to the One who had said, “I will show him how much he must suffer for the sake of my name” (Acts 9:16)? Of course NOT. We know the opposite is true. They found their identity in the act of self-denial.
Self Denial Vs. Self Contempt
Self-Denial is not the same thing as self-contempt. Self-contempt claims that we have no worth, and even if we do have worth, we should reject it. Self-Denial declares that we are of infinite worth and shows us how to realize it.
Self-contempt denies the goodness of God’s creation. Self-Denial affirms that God’s creation is indeed good. Jesus made the ability to love ourselves the prerequisite for our reaching out to others. (Matt. 22:39)
Self-Denial And Self-love
Self-love and Self-denial are not in conflict. More than once Jesus made it quite clear that self-denial is the only sure way to love ourselves. “He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for my sake will find it.” (Matt. 10:39)
Again, we must understand that self-denial means the freedom to give way to others. This means to hold the interests of others above our interests. In this way self-denial releases us from self pity. When we live outside of self-denial, we demand that things go our way. When they do not, we revert to self pity. Self-denial is the foundation and the cornerstone for submission. It saves us from all kinds of self indulgence.
The most radical social teaching of Jesus was his total reversal of the contemporary notion of greatness. Leadership is found in becoming a servant to all. Power is discovered in submission. The foremost symbol of this radical servanthood is the cross. (Foster) “He (Jesus) humbled himself and became obedient to death, even death on a cross” (Phil. 2:8). But note this: Christ not only died a “cross-death” he lived a cross-life. The way of the cross, the way of a suffering servant was essential to his ministry. Jesus lived a cross-life in submission to all human beings. He was the servant of all. He flatly rejected the cultural giving of positions and power when he said “You are not to be called rabbi…Neither be called masters…”(Matt. 23:8-10).
Jesus shattered the customs of his day when he lived out the cross-life by talking to women seriously and being willing to meet with children. These were entirely counter cultural in his day and age. Jesus lived the cross-life when he took a towel and washed his disciples’ feet. This Jesus who easily could have called down a legion of angels to his aid chose instead the cross-death on Calvary. Jesus’ life was the cross-life of submission and service. (Foster)
Jesus called his followers to live the cross-life. “If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” (Mark 8:34). He flatly told his disciples, “If any one would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all” (Mark 9:35). Foster says, When Jesus immortalized the principle of the cross-life by washing the disciples feet, he added, “I have given you an example, that you also should do as I have done to you.” (John 13:15). The cross- life is the life of voluntary submission. The cross-life is the life of freely accepted servanthood.
The Limits of Submission:
Sometimes the limits of submission are easy to determine. For example: A wife is asked to punish her child unreasonably. A child is asked to help an adult in an unlawful practice. A citizen is asked to violate the dictates of Scripture and conscience for the sake of the state. In each case the discipline refuses, not arrogantly, but in a spirit of meekness and submission.
Often the limit of submission are extremely has to define. What about a teacher who unjustly grades a student? Does the student resist or submit? What about the employer who promotes his employees on the basis of favoritism and vested interests? What does the deprived employee do, especially if the raise is needed for the good of his or her family?
These are extremely complicated questions simply because human relationships are complicated. They are questions that do not yield a simplistic answer. There is no such thing as a law of submission that will cover every situation. We must actually be highly skeptical of all laws that claim to cover all and every circumstances.
It is in these situations and circumstances when we are in desperate need for the guidance and deep dependence upon the Holy Spirit. After all, if we had a book of rules to cover every situation and circumstance in life, we would not need dependence. The Spirit is an accurate discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart, both yours and mine. He will be to us an every present teacher instructing us in what to do in every situation.
Practical Acts of Submission:
There has to be a practical way of practicing these disciplines, because if we just talk about it and do not give any practical ways to doing it, then we just forget about it. The spiritual disciplines are practices that we do. We must never lose sight of this fact.
1. The first act of submission is to the Triune God: We yield our body, mind and spirit for his purposes. We have to submit ourselves first and foremost to God and to let him do whatever he wants with our lives. We start off the day by surrendering to him and we end the day with surrendering to him and to his will and purpose. Our minds, body and spirit- all of it.
2. The second act of submission is to the Scripture: As we submit ourselves to the Word of God living (Jesus), so we submit ourselves to the Word of God Written (Scripture). We yield ourselves to first hear the Word of God, then receive the Word of God and thirdly, obey the Word of God. We look to the Spirit who inspired the Scriptures to interpret and apply them to our condition and life.
3. The third act of submission is to our family: The cornerstone of this submission is Phil 2:4 “Let each of you look not only to his own interest, but also to the interest of others” . Freely and graciously the members of the family are to make allowance for each other. When one of your family members hurts you-forgive them and seek reconciliation- do not allow bitterness to take root and cause estrangement from one another. Wives, despite what popular culture says, we are called by God, in His Word to submit to our husbands and their leadership. The primary deed of submission is a commitment to listen to other family members. It is willingness to share-our time, hearts, burdens, possessions- which itself is a work of submission.
4. The fourth act of submission is to our friends and our neighbors: Those we meet and interact with in the course of our daily lives. The life of simple goodness lived before them. If they are in need, we help them. If someone is sick, we bring them a meal or spend some time watching a movie with them. If someone is in the hospital we visit them, pray for them, be available. We intentionally look for practical ways to be of service to others, sacrificing time in our busy lives-mowing their lawn, baby-sitting, sharing things. No task is too small to be taken as an opportunity to live in submission to one another.
5. The Fifth act of submission is to the believing community, the body of Christ: If there are jobs to be done or tasks to be accomplished, you look at them and see where you can help and serve-help lead a small group or Sunday school class, spend some time visiting with the elderly, disciple a teenager, babysit for a single parent. Of course you cannot do everything, but you can always do something.
6. The sixth act of submission is to the broken and despised: In our culture here and all over the world there are orphans and widows: those are the helpless and the undefended according to James 1:27. It is our responsibility to take care of them. This can mean a variety of things-becoming a foster parent, adopting a child, taking care of the widows or widowers in your neighborhood or wherever they are in your sphere of influence. We live the cross-life for them. We sacrifice, we give, we do whatever it takes to be in submission so the cross-life can be exemplified in their lives.
7. The seventh act of submission is to the world: We live in an interdependent, international community. We cannot live in isolation. Every day, the world is coming to our doorstep-in almost every community you can find international citizens desperately in need of friends and community and most importantly JESUS! Our environmental responsibility, or lack of it, affects not only us but the people around the world. Starving children should affect us, AIDS/HIV should affect us, people dying because of the lack of clean water should affect us, terrorism and civil wars ravishing people, growing ISIS…..Our act of submission is to pray, provide, send or go to the ends of the world as God has commanded us to do in submission to him. Become educated about the international citizens living near you-reach out to them and get to know them-often they are very lonely and feel very isolated from their culture and family back in their native country. Doing something as seemingly simple as inviting them over for dinner and cooking a meal from their country speaks volumes! Go on a short-term mission trip and see how God is at work around the world. Once you begin intentionally looking, there are countless ways to serve the world for our great God! I assure that if you only ask for wisdom, the Holy Spirit will be faithful to show you how to do this.
By Laurel Jeremiadoss
***If you are interested in studying the spiritual disciplines further, most of our teaching comes from Richard Foster’s Celebration of Discipline, Spiritual Disciplines by Donald Whitney and E.M. Bounds’ Weapons of Prayer.
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