“We Died Before We Came Here”

Written March 7, 2013 at Lotem, Uganda during Bush Training

Selvin shared the story of Moses and the burning bush during our storying class today.  What a powerful story-it’s amazing how You always teach me new things about You even through Old Testament stories I’ve heard numerous times.  How easy it is to look at Moses and judge his lack of faith.  When I am so often in his same position.  And what’s ironic is that when I look back over my life, I find it’s often easier to take the big steps of faith-going on a mission trip, taking a new position in ministry, organizing a church event...but what’s really hard is to be obedient to God on an every day basis.  I can get puffed up with pride that I’ve obediently taken the big steps, I’m good.  I’ve arrived.  

But it’s not enough to just do big things for God.  Everything on heaven and earth belongs to Him-He is the keeper of cattle of a thousand hills.  My true worship=dying to myself daily.  I mean, we’ve moved to Africa-that’s a huge step and quite a gigantic life change.  But some days I find myself getting comfortable (or dreaming of the luxuries we’ll have once we leave the bush) and I realize it wouldn’t be that difficult to establish our own little America here in Africa.  Yet I look back over my life and the years leading up to this one and I realize I was only ever able to shift entire continents because of the seemingly small insignificant, ways on our journey to get here where I obeyed the Lord.  

J, our supervisor, shared a story about some Fiji Island missionaries who set out to share God’s Word many years ago.  As they approached land, the captain and crew begged the men not to get off the ship and be dropped off among the barbaric, carniverous warriors who lived there.  But in response to these warnings, the missionaries replied “we died before we came here”.  

It is definitely true that I died to myself before coming to Africa yet it doesn’t stop there.  As I grow in my faith, the Lord continues to stretch me and whisper “do you trust me?”  Hebrews 5:8 talks about Jesus learning obedience through suffering.  If Jesus had to face it, of course as his followers we shouldn’t be surprised that we must.  It is a continual, daily journey to take up our cross, deny ourselves, and follow our Savior.  It is with much trepidation at times that I look ahead at the future and the possibilities of what God will ask of me.  I wonder, will my faith be enough?  But as I remember all the countless times He has proven Himself overly and abundantly faithful, I take courage.  I will seek to rely on Him each day, even moment by moment to give me the grace and strength I need.  He is enough.